memoirs of a new beginning

privilege

2010-03-13T19:24:00.000-08:00

opening day, today, of "isabelle and the pretty ugly spell." my new york off broadway musical debut. the day went very well, i believe. after every day rehearsal for the last three weeks, we finally put it up in front of an audience. now, this is children's theater. this means that the average age of our 11:00 am performance was about two and half years old. they are beautiful, of course, but not quite so sophisticated when it comes to clever lyrics that advance the plot. however, they love all the colorful costumes and whenever we move around. and let's face it, they loved izzy, the extremely cute fairy godmother. and the princess, the equally cute daughter of the king. and the grand fairy, rounding out the cute trio of ladies in our cast.

i'm sure they also enjoyed the other fairy godmothers, played by two very talented actors who had to sing in falsetto the whole time. that's hard work! and they loved clyde, our once and future prince who had all kinds of fun gadgets that he "invented". i suppose they may have enjoyed myself as king but only because i took up the most space and had an awesome cape on.

after the show we all signed autographs and the children had two main questions for me: was my beard real? and was i a real king? i answered both questions in the affirmative, of course. wasn't sure what else to say, really. my beard is mine, and i'm kind of the king of my little apartment in midtown. and i've been king of the backgammon game on my iphone, so... is that a stretch?

the vital theater company is where this took place. it's on broadway at 76th street. so in a way, it was a broadway show. :) actually, though, there aren't enough seats to make it a true broadway show. it takes more than the 108 that vital has, but it's a great theater with a green room and dressing rooms and everything that an actor could want. even those mirrors lined with big bulbed lights so you can see every line on your face that you seek to cover with base and rouge.

the other thing it has is a small backstage, but this just makes things more fun. all the set pieces that aren't on stage are behind the curtain...along with all the actors...and the rack of clothes for between-scene changes...and the crew of interns who help with set changes and actor clothing changes. this means that we all bump into each other quite a bit. it was during one of these encounters that i felt a tinge of frustration that i couldn't move without running into something or having someone run into me. and then, almost as quickly, was struck with another thought.

it was almost a wave of thoughts all at once. a mixture of "mark, chill out", and "just move over a little", " it's no big deal." but the predominant thought was that of being privileged. privileged to share this new york, off broadway stage with such talented people. privileged to be a part of a great opening day performance and to hear the applause of entertained people. privileged to be doing something that seemed like a crazy dream just two years ago. privileged to be standing in this crazy crowded backstage in which so many would love to be standing.

what a gift. 31 more shows to go!

shows

2010-02-15T09:35:00.000-08:00

so, my first new york musicals are coming up. if you're near the city, i believe you'll enjoy either or both of these shows.

the first is a children's theater show through the "vital theater" that is very family friendly and just a fun twist on the cinderella fairy tale. i play the king with a lovely daughter princess. so lovely in fact that an ugly spell was cast on her as a baby that must have a young suitor's kiss to break the spell by her 16th birthday. "isabelle and the pretty ugly spell" will be great fun for children and adults alike.

opens march 13 and performs at 11:00 am and 1:00 pm every saturday and sunday through april 25th. lots of opportunity to see it.

show number two is called "celluloid" and is about a film company in the late 70's that is struggling to produce a hit to stay on their feet. i play a character named joe who through some personal loss, learns to trust his co-workers and find new love. all the music in this show is jazz based and fun. this original musical is making its new york debut in an off off broadway midtown venue with hopes of going to the next level. your support would help!

opens may 13 for six shows only!

may 13 - 7:00 pm

may 14 - 7:00 pm

may 15 - 3:00 pm & 7:00 pm

may 16 - 3:00 pm & 7:00 pm

would love to see you in the city for a performance of one or both of these shows. let me knok when you're coming so i can get good and nervous!

vegetables

2010-02-10T12:00:00.000-08:00

in april of last year, i worked background on the season finale of ugly betty. it was a great scene. awards banquet when one of the characters seems to see the ghost of his just deceased wife. if you follow the show, you probably know what i'm talking about.

the shoot took place in the lovely waldorf-astoria hotel on park ave between 49th and 50th. you simply have to see this place! it really is magnificent from the entry way to the lounge and restaurant, the shops and, i would assume, the rooms. we shot in the entry way for the arrival of the guests to the banquet. then used one of the ballrooms for the banquet scene.

the usual routine for background actors is to be on set for the shots, of course, and then be in one of two places: holding, or crafty. the holding area is a designated space where everyone chills when they're not needed on set. people talk, read, sleep, and generally just relax. you meet a lot of people in holding and most of them become your facebook friends. this, by the way, is one reason that actors have so many "friends" on facebook. we want to keep up with other actors and facebook is the networking tool.

the other place you find actors is craft services, affectionately referred to as "crafty." this is the snack bar of any film/tv shoot. it's usually outside on a nearby sidewalk (in this case, on the corner of park ave. and 50th street) and has all kinds of food, all through out the shoot. some healthy, some not. some hot, some not. some tasty, some...

it was during one of my excursions to crafty that a man and a woman in business attire happened to catch me with some food in my hand and asked a question. from their perspective it must seem strange to have a bunch of tuxedo wearing men, and formal gown wearing ladies, stuffing their faces on the sidewalk outside the waldorf. i'm sure i'd ask some questions, as well. so, these two did. i was the one that happened to hear them and respond.

"what's going on?" they asked. i explained what was happening and then engaged them a bit on what they were doing on the sidewalk late at night. they were two maritime lawyers who had been at a conference in the city. patrick was kelli's boss, i think, and they shared a bit about what they do. i didn't realize there was such a crowd of lawyers who focused only on laws surrounding ships, etc.

i told them about how i had come to be an actor in the city and i think they felt sorry for me since the best food i was getting was this little stand on the sidewalk with a small canopy keeping the rain of the cornflakes and other snacks. very kindly, patrick offered to buy me a steak the next time he was in town. i, of course, agreed completely to this plan and took his card. i sent him an email a couple days later.

well, last week, patrick wrote me to say that he'd be in town and was inviting me to a little dinner party he was throwing...9 months later! i was overjoyed! getting a balanced meal is a rarity for me so i started the whole evening already grateful for god's provision in my life. we started the evening with some drinks at the yale club on vanderbilt ave. across from grand central station. here i met some of his friends and colleagues. one of them was a retired ship captain with lots of interesting stories about buying his way through the suez canal with cartons of cigarettes. who knew?

from the yale club we went to a nice restaurant called avra on 48th street between lexington and 3rd ave. the ship captain's wife met us there. she and i spent much of the dinner talking about buddhism which she practices. jeremy and francesca were the other couple. they are young and fun with tremendous energy and intellects. it really was a great meal. the steak was great but what mom would be happiest about is that i ate my vegetables. a side of broccoli ...smothered in feta and garlic! mmmmmmmmm! :)

thanks, patrick, for a great balanced meal with great people!

relationships

2010-01-28T17:22:00.000-08:00

i had a new realization recently that has caused me to rethink a previous thought. not really sure if i've written about this, but new york is full of people that seem to work out their relationships in public places. there have been a number of times riding the subway that i'll see, and hear, a couple hashing through the finer details of who was self centered, and who is paying for it. occasionally it happens on the sidewalk under my window. those are the best ones...good and loud! every now and then i think i should offer my services as a certified prepare/enrich counselor of couples.

it's not hard to understand why various public venues become the location for these discussions. we all live on top of one another, so it's either inside the apartment next door with the thin walls, or in the open air, or taking advantage of the public transportation. i think people use public space because whoever hears you air your matrimonial displeasure will never see you again. but your neighbors who hear you through the walls will always be aware that something is not going so well.

anyway, i have a new explanation for public relational conversation. my new explanation comes from a personal experience on 57th street between 5th and 6th avenue at the wonderful rizzoli book store. i'm shooting a small web series there right now called "blank paige" and having a lot of fun. very fun cast and as soon as the first few episodes get edited, they'll be on youtube for fun viewing.

this past tuesday morning, several of us were waiting outside the book store and running lines for the day's shoot. my character, dewey, has a scene in which he is confronted by rosemary about something that happens in the store. as we ran our lines, the confrontation became heated. of course we were just acting, but it was on the sidewalk outside the store...in public. heads started to turn.

that's when it hit me. all these couples i had seen managing their relationships were probably just actors running lines for some one-act they were doing, or a scene study for a class, or a student film they were getting ready to shoot. i mean, the city is full of actors. i'm sure that's what i've been seeing.

true yorker

2010-01-21T08:55:00.000-08:00

well, i'm a few steps closer to being a true new yorker it seems. i hadn't really thought about it and i guess it has a way of sneaking up on a person. we all want to adapt to our surroundings and feel a part of things, accepted, etc. this is normal, right? i mean, i'm sure there are some things we shouldn't adapt to, but on the whole, blending in is not a bad thing in itself.

so as i was undressing the other day, i took off my black wool coat from austria that my sister elaine gave me. then unzipped my black lululemon shell that my friend kerry gave me. then pulled off my black long sleeve t-shirt that is a bit form fitting to try and sell myself a little more around here. of course, before all this, i kicked off my black shoes that footed my gray/charcoal jeans. yeah...three layers of black just on top along with all the rest. not to mention my black scarf loosely and fashionably wrapped about my neck. i've almost arrived...

now, if i could just say "fogedduhboudit" right...

forty-one

2009-04-28T07:32:00.000-07:00

yep, it's true. getting into the best decade of life, right? :) it's hard to have a birthday now without spending at least a moment in 2 corinthians 4:16. so much more reality to this verse in terms of outwardly wasting away with each passing year. all birthdays are momentous, but this one is my first in new york. it was chill. enjoyed time with friends who bought me birthday drinks and food. of course that's the other issue with each passing year...slower metabolism. so, all the free goodies will take longer to work off. but...that's okay, too.

the other part of this verse is more troublesome. the city makes it hard to know what is happening inwardly sometimes. the noise, the people, constant activity, survival...these are not conducive to the cultivating of an inner life. discipline has not been one of my hallmarks, so i have reflective moments but they seem to be while on the run.

i think there is a renewal occurring but it is not the tranquil, sunny, gooey kind. it's hard, gritty, revealing, painful, and beautiful all together. this city is a crucible. renewal has never been an easy process and something usually dies...but what you're left with is, by definition, new.

whatever crucible you're in right now, hang in there. you have good company and there is the promise of a tremendous hope, as well. :)

harlem

2009-04-19T12:51:00.001-07:00

april 1st i moved into harlem. it's actually across the street from the forgetful landlord. i've seen him a few times and he seems unaware of who i am. that's fine. i'm grateful to have moved into a two bedroom with a cool roommate. it's a 5th floor walk up which is good for burning a few more of my cheese calories off.

i've been slowly making it a home for me. it's coming along. even found a good floor covering.

still need a tv. the lesson for this month is that when applying the lessons from march, things work out alright.

march 2

2009-04-19T12:21:00.000-07:00

so now i'm back in my plush pad on central park west and have a couple weeks to conduct a search for the right place to live. it's always difficult to find the balance you want of space, price, and location in new york city apartments. basically, pick any two. you might be able to get the space you want at the price you'd like but the location sucks. or you could find a great location in midtown for a low price but your room is about size of your bed...and it's a twin on stilts with a hot plate under the headboard and a toilet down the hall. yeah...pick any two.

when i placed the "emergency" ad on craigslist the night of the 13th, there were a number of responses that showed the friendly side of new yorkers wanting to help someone in need. certainly there was the place i stayed, but there were others who had apartments they thought would be good for me. i went to look at one the following sunday afternoon and found myself pretty excited about the space. in fact, i loved the space so much that i was willing to overlook the fact that there was no kitchen. except for that, it seemed to have space, price, and a pretty good location. triple threat as they say in new york.

the woman i spoke with was acting as the property manager for the owner of the space. we had a great conversation and talked about meeting the owner soon. she said that he was going through a few things and he didn't want to meet too many people. this was fine with me. don't need to be pushy. after a couple curious time delays in responding to my email questions about the place and where we were, she mentioned that he was at the beginning of dealing with alzheimer's which meant she was having trouble getting clarity from him about the space and a new tenant. he seemed to change his mind a lot.

it's now getting closer to the end of the month and things are sounding very good with the property manager. i was thinking about being in my own place and the culinary delights i could cook in a microwave. there really are a lot of options and they're not all cheese related...even though that's a great use of a microwave. i was scheduled to visit with the owner on a sunday afternoon but just before heading up to harlem where the apartment was located, she called to say that it wasn't a good time for him. while disappointing, she seemed to indicate that it was okay. he trusted her to make the decision and she felt good about me moving in. we would do it on wednesday morning.

because of all that was happening on wednesday, i rented the van on tuesday night. not just the move was on my mind for the following day, but i was acting in a one-act with friends at the slipper room in the east village that evening and needed to get everything done and the van back to u-haul in time to get ready and meet my co-actors for a run through. i drove over to the place tuesday night in the van and saw the property manager and talked through the details of the next morning. i would bring the cash and she would have a key for me. everything was set...

...set for another disaster! wednesday morning i had the van by the building and was able to load it pretty easily, especially with the help of another friend. we arrived in harlem about 10:00 am, found a place to park, walked up the steps of my new brownstone home and rang the doorbell. no answer. on the way over i called the phone number i had for the lady i had been speaking with but didn't reach her. i kept calling the number and eventually the owner himself answered wondering who i was and what i wanted. he didn't seem to know anything about it. since i'd been through this a couple weeks earlier i didn't panic...but i thought about it. the owner made it sound like someone else had rented the place the day before which made no sense to me since i thought i was the guy! either way, there was no budging him. and the property manager never came to the door. i still don't know what really happened.

gratefully, my friend with me said that everyone has some crazy new york moving stories. i just piled two of them up in two weeks. but i find that when i start telling my story, someone has a more horrendous one to tell and i guess mine isn't that impressive after all. probably most reading this have already stopped since they can one-up me too. well...that's fine! this is cathartic! the other thing my friend did was invite me to stay on he and his wife's couch until i found a place to move to. this was extremely gracious of both of them.

the lesson learned this time is to sign a lease and/or have keys in hand before loading up a moving van for a second time in as many weeks. and perhaps all the more if you have a potentially forgetful landlord.

march

2009-04-19T10:27:00.001-07:00

goodness! march is a blur. i told my roommate at the end of february that i would be moving out by the end of march. this began the process of finding something new. i have been quite fortunate in terms of living situations, really. i housesat for friends when i first arrived and it was a lovely one bedroom on the 23rd floor of a midtown high-rise right in the middle of everything and easy to get to things. that couldn't last forever, of course, and i found a place on central park west. the perfect location for getting out and enjoying the park and i was even able to enjoy some theological sparring with my roommate.

we all have our vices. mine is cheese which can really smell a place up. his is smoking which can do similar things. the former has seemed to improve my singing while the latter has hindered it, so as it seemed time to change settings, i started pounding the streets to find a new apartment...er...craigslist.

if you've ever spent any time on craigslist you know that you can find just about anything on there. some things shouldn't be found while other things can be quite beneficial. the number of sublets in new york city at any one time is somewhat staggering. i wrote to a number of them but also posted an ad in which i expressed my availability to be a renter for someone. there was a response, i visited his place, and we worked out the details for me to move in mid-month.

in this case, mid month was friday the 13th. i'm not very superstitious about things like this but maybe i will be now. the day started in the normal way for a moving day. woke up, went and rented the u-haul, drove back during new york rush hour morning traffic to my apartment building on central park west between 94th and 95th (kind of fun to drive again even if the ambience was the crazy streets of new york), met my friend who was helping me, loaded up all my things which aren't too much at this point and headed for battery park city where the new apartment was. when we pulled up at the little guard station, the guy asked me what i was doing. i of course told him. he then said that i wasn't on the list. this didn't bother me too much. i just figured my new roommate hadn't called them to let them know. i mentioned his name and was told that he wasn't on the lease. now i'm a little nervous. it turns out, i had become involved in an inappropriate sublet. he was paying rent to someone else who was on the lease but didn't live there. there's nothing wrong with that, but the amount he was paying was $400 more than the actual rent of the place. this meant that the person on the lease was making a profit that the landlord wanted (and probably rightfully so since it's his place). at any rate, after going back and forth with people for some time about my potentially moving in, it became apparent about 4:00 pm that it wasn't going to happen. i had a full van of stuff, had moved out of my apartment, needed to return the van which was already in a penalty by this time, and i was supposed to be an extra on the angelina jolie movie "salt" the next morning which was filming some exploding funeral scene in manhattan. in fact, i was supposed to be on set at 5:30 am. even went to a fitting to make sure i looked right for the scene where they made it clear that there would be residue falling on my suit from whatever they were going to explode. can't wait to see the finished film and all this residue on people.

anyway, this was as close to a melt down that i've come since moving to new york. i forgot everything. i forgot there was a god who loves me. i forgot that i have friends here who would be happy to have me sleep on their couch. i forgot about the apartment i left and that i had paid for the month of march and could go back there. i began to panic and thought i could find something quickly on craigslist. this was a crazy way to go. to conclude this portion of the story, i'll just say that i spent the night on a random mattress on a random floor of a random apartment belonging to a random woman who responded to a random emergency ad i placed on craigslist. crazy.

by the time i got to her place it was about midnight. i still had the van full of things with no place to put them. i was still supposed to be on the set of "salt" in a mere five hours. thankfully i was able to tell central casting that i would not be able to make it. of course, they may never cast me again, but they listened. i found a place to park the van that was safe and in the morning when my head was clearer, i moved back into my place on central park west. the doormen laughed at me but that was okay.

i'd learned an important lesson about apartment hunting in new york...it's good to make sure that the sublet you're about to enter into is legal. that and don't forget that you have friends who are happy to take care of you. really. they want to. they are looking for opportunities to bless. so let 'em know you need 'em.

opening night

2009-02-20T06:14:00.000-08:00

in sixth grade, i was in my first musical. "wheels" was great fun in which i played a caveman named 'rock' who was married to 'martha'. rock discovered the wheel and in an homage to gilbert and sullivan proclaimed, "why martha it's a wheel. it's got to be a wheel. i'd stake my reputation on this quick evaluation. i don't need substantiation. it's a wheel!"

so on the afternoon of the opening of "wheels" i asked our director when we were going to do a dress rehearsal. she responded, "tonight!" that put a small bit of trepidation into my system. little did i know that this would be preparation for my first new york theater experience.

until last night, i was in rehearsals for the off off broadway production of "land of the babydolls" by kristine hipps and lauren cavenaugh. they have written a parody of the 1960's movie, "valley of the dolls" which followed the lives of a few performers and a secretary in new york city as they got involved in sex, drugs, and success. i play 'tiger bedfellow', an entertainment agent involved in the lives of these people and as his name suggests, he relates well. the story follows the rise and fall of 'stevie o'mara'. starting as an obscure singer in the show of big star, 'stella dawson' she eventually becomes a big star herself before making drug choices that bring her down. while a comedy/parody, it's a story that tells the truth, as well.

because of the low budget nature of off off broadway productions, being able to buy the time in the actual theater space is difficult until the week of the show. for us this meant one day this week before opening for our tech rehearsal in which lights get set, we figure out all the scene changes, and where we were putting various set pieces, etc. what this means is, opening night was our first actual run through! how fun!! and fun it was. this is a tremendous cast that is able to roll with anything and we did.

another fun aspect to the off off broadway theater, at least in this case, is the backstage changing area. all 13 of us actors were in a space smaller than my freshman dorm room. there are a few chairs in front of small mirrors. the portable racks for hanging all the costumes which aren't quite big enough for everything (a couple of the ladies had 14 costume changes). the backstage/dressing room/green room is where everyone becomes close friends.

as a first experience in new york theater playing to a sold out and overflowing house, i have nothing to compare it to. this is now the bar that everything to come will have to stack up against. i can only hope to be surrounded by the same level of talent and performing passion in the future. if you're in the area, i can promise you two and a half hours of solid entertainment. "call me...tiger."

solitude

2009-02-05T19:34:00.001-08:00

i haven't heard too many new yorkers talk about this. as i said in the last post, solitude is difficult to come by with some 70,000 people per square mile. what a treat, then, to get several interesting minutes of solitude in the most unlikely of places.

i was heading to a late rehearsal for my play, "land of the babydolls"...that's right, i'm in a play. it goes in a couple weeks and if you're anywhere near the city, you should come. it's my theater debut and it's happening in midtown manhattan. hard to believe...but true. so i was heading to this rehearsal which means i get on the "c" train up at 96th street and ride down to 34th. now, 34th street has exits at 34th, of course, but it also has an exit at 35th street. these trains are a couple blocks long so the cool stations have multiple exits. uncool stations only have one exit in the middle which means if you're in the front or back of the train, you have to schlep it to the exit.

our rehearsal space is in a building on 36th street. since it's so cold, staying under ground as long as possible is a good idea. and since the 34th street station on the "a" and "c" line is a cool station with the exit at 35th st, this means only having to walk one block above ground. i know i sound like a wuss, but you'd do the same thing.

the point of all that is to say that when i went down to catch the downtown train at 96th street, i knew that i should wait at the far uptown end of the platform so i could ride the back car which would let me out right at the 35th street exit of the 34th street station. make sense? as i looked up the track i could see the two approaching headlights illuminating the rails like two ever present lightning bolts. always a welcome sight.

as a train enters a station, it's common to look in the windows and see how crowded things look. at 8:30 pm it wasn't too bad. there would be plenty of available seats. as the train slowed and the last few cars came alongside the platform, i was seeing fewer and fewer people. the second to last car had one person in it. the doors to the last car opened and i stepped inside...not a soul. this was a first. i took a moment to check for sleeping friends but nope...no one! i had the entire subway car to myself. how fun!

what else could i do but sing at the top of my lungs?! this was now a stage with props from floor to ceiling. i pretended the poles that people use to steady themselves were young aspen trees and walked through them, swinging around them like julie andrews at the beginning of "the sound of music." the great thing was that the car remained mine for three stops. the singing continued...

sadly, no one witnessed my performance. i'm sure it was agent-worthy. this is what i do with solitude. wouldn't you?

density and diversity

2009-02-03T21:57:00.000-08:00

recently i heard someone commenting on cities in which they said that cities are places with "density and diversity." it's not difficult to understand this. certainly in a place like new york, there is a tremendous packing of people in a small area. in manhattan, the density is just under 70,500 per square mile. that's amazing! you can see why central park is so important to this city. it's included in the square mile count of manhattan, of course. if it wasn't there, the density would be over 75,000 per square mile. there are some larger cities, but i'm not sure of any that have a density like that of manhattan.

and the diversity is no secret. there are over 170 languages spoken throughout the city. one hundred seventy! i took some spanish when i was in grade school. some dutch while living in the netherlands. a little latin in high school. struggled through greek and hebrew in seminary. not really sure if i'm doing english the justice it deserves (i don't even use capitals). that's only six. it's fun to stroll the streets or the parks and hear such a wide range of tongues. it's rich.

in the last week, i've enjoyed the diversity that this city provides in live entertainment. several days ago i enjoyed my first trip to the metropolitan opera and a performance of rigoletto. this is verdi's tragic story of the court jester and his daughter, gilda. she is clearly a christ figure as she willingly gives her life for a wretch of an unfaithful man. great singing, music, and unbelievable sets. the creativity displayed on stage from verdi's writing and story telling to the vocal ability of the performers, and the set designs was staggering. all that creative power right there in one place! i really was moved.

and this week, live jazz. three men on stage: piano player, bassist, and a percussion maestro who had what seemed like 50 different percussion devices (he appeared to use them all at some point through the evening). this was a much smaller venue but the creativity was equal to what i saw on the met stage. these three collaborated right before our eyes in ways that had never been rehearsed. this is, of course, one of the joys of jazz. it's fresh every time. were they to play the "same" songs again, they would have similar melodies but would be very different. and there is no way that the percussionist could duplicate his performance from one concert to the next except in terms of overall musicianship. truly amazing to watch him maneuver his four limbs to play so many shakers, cymbals, bells, beads, bowls, boxes, and pots in such a short amount of time.

this is the fun of this city. diversity is healthy. even the trinity, as our theology makes clear, has diversity within its unity. there is a unity that new yorkers feel. i'm sensing it, even though i can't claim to be a part of it, yet. but i sense it and that's a start. it's a desire to be good at something. to care for others. all those negative stereotypes of new yorkers being cold...i haven't seen it. everyone is helpful. even the crackhead on the subway will smile a toothless grin and give you directions for which train you need to get downtown. and in a weird way, there is a unity in competition. mainly that everyone is competing for a limited pot of dollars. while competing, things can be rough. but in conversation off the field, there is unity in the pursuit.

tim keller said that culture is born in the midst of this combination. like taking the raw bits of physical material and reorganizing them into buildings and streets. this work of architects is a piece of our culture. or composers taking the raw units of sound and duration and reorganizing them into music. or the colors that are smeared on canvas or paper or a wall giving us the beauty of visual art. because of the sheer numbers of people rubbing their ideas against one another and putting their personal touches on creative work in a city that never sleeps, these bits of cultural birth are constantly taking place.

that's life in the city. and now i'm in the milieu...what will i give birth to?

gossip girl

2009-01-25T06:56:00.000-08:00

for those of you who are in love with the trashy teen tv show known as gossip girl, you'll enjoy this post. don't worry, i won't give any episodic spoilers...but i could! :) had to promise not to give away any plot details. this is the front of the mansion on long island where we were shooting this past week for an episode coming up in a few weeks. i was, once again, an ever-loving extra but this time was different. when i was called by central casting i was told i would be a "featured extra" which means i would have a little interaction with one or more principals.

this home belonged to john phipps who partnered with carnegie in the steel business. pretty amazing home. my role was to be an "aide" to william who is nate's grandfather...for those following the show. so we make a dramatic entry in a helicopter, jump out, and head to the house. here's the helicopter. and a shot from inside.

nate's grandfather was played by james naughton. he is a very familiar actor and a great guy. enjoyed meeting him and watching him work. very professional.

there's a comment from the director that is sticking with me. it's typical in a scene where there are a lot of extra running around to have a number of crew members telling us to be quiet. of course we want to talk. of course, also, the crew is talking and working out how they're going to get a particular shot. so it's not always the fault of the extras that the director gets upset at the noise. but we're an easy target. anyway, usually when the director yells "cut" after a take, we smile, start talking, etc. we've just been mouthing words for the last minute mimicking conversation at a party, what else are we going to do but actually talk. feels natural. then someone goes "shhhhh!" and then we hear, "reset to one" which is to say, go back to first position for that shot.

the comment that stuck with me was the director in a pretty angry voice saying, "cut does not mean talk! cut means go back to one!!"

you'd be amazed how many times we went back and did things again because someone made a mistake, missed their line, or tripped on a cable. so different from reality where the first "mistake" stays on the film of life. every now and then it would be nice to be able to yell, "reset to one!"

but we get to keep every trip, every missed line...somehow life is a little richer for it, don't you think?

oh...and i got to shake hands with chace crawford. nice guy.

honk

2009-01-02T07:05:00.000-08:00

i've concluded that new york cab drivers use their car horns as sonar.

survival

2009-01-01T06:03:00.000-08:00

well, i did it. or should i say, we did it. myself and several hundred thousand brave (silly) souls made our way to times square in new york city. i wish i could say it was some noble instinct that drew us to this place. yes, we were like salmon with an uncontrollable urge to swim upstream for spawning. we fought crowded obstacles, police barricades, and the cold to get a few inches closer to that well spring of activity and light. here at the "crossroads of the world," where broadway and 7th avenue cross to create their little bow tie of six blocks, we had arrived. it was now time to do the only thing we young salmon could do at this point...wait.

and wait we did. people said arriving early was a must so we joined the madness and began our trek into the area from the north around 5:30 pm. after a stop at columbus circle's whole foods for the bathroom, my friend and i headed down 8th avenue to find some vittles. with warm paninis in hand, we tried to traverse 55th street over to broadway. this proved unsuccessful but undaunted salmon that we were, we kept looking for that little passage way. we found it on 54th street and made our way to broadway and then on over to 7th avenue. from columbus circle to about 48th street, broadway runs between 8th and 7th avenues before crossing at times square and continuing its meandering trek toward downtown.

we moved into a holding area...really looked like a cattle corral. felt like it too as we were moved from one area to another. we started at 54th street in a holding area and then were moved up to around 53rd. then i heard a countdown happening. people were screaming "9...8...7...6...5..." i was suddenly concerned that i had missed something since there was no way it was midnight already. one of the big screens in the square was flashing the numbers which seemed to make all of us yell them. when it got to "0", it said, "five hours to go!" i was already having second thoughts.

i began doing some polling of the people around me asking if any of them had done this before. no one had. i now know why. all my frugality before this night made it impossible that i would spend $200 for a party somewhere in the area. as the night wore on, however, that $200 was sounding like a very viable option for food, drink, shelter, warmth, bathrooms and flexible people. on the street there was none of that. although there was a guy selling pizzas for $35 a pie. with the economy where it is, it was fun to see free market capitalism in full swing.

"9...8...7...6..." "four hours to go!" when will this end? at midnight i guess. moved up a little closer to the action. by the end of the cattle herding, we were at 49th street. just above times square. 7th avenue was packed all the way back to central park at 59th street and of course in front of us all the way to 43rd street and the 12,000 pound ball of light. i did some more polling in my new location and found the same result...first time for everyone. i get it. i don't want to do this again, either. this means that there are about half a million new suckers every year that crowd into times square. next year all of us will be doing something wiser like going to that party, watching on tv, giving ourselves papercuts and pouring lemon juice on them...anything would be better than waiting in 17 degrees (windchill = 3 degrees) for a ball to drop.

but having done it, i now have bragging rights and i will take full advantage of them. i will drop it casually into any conversation i can that, "oh yeah...i've done that. it was chilly but you know, dress for it and you'll be fine." I'll try to be nonchalant about it but...never again. :) i didn't even get to see the jonas brothers!

may this truly be a blessed year for all of us. it will see the beginning of an historic presidency, and hopefully the development of a musical/acting career for one young aspiring actor in new york. many big days ahead, indeed!

happy new year!

paradigm

2008-12-30T13:10:00.000-08:00

one quest of the musical theater performer is to find good audition songs. recently, a song was mentioned to me that i've really fallen for. it's from "the scarlet pimpernel" (music by frank wildhorn and lyrics by nan knighton). i'm endeavoring to make it my life paradigm song for the first few months of the new year. given all the challenges in this new city for me, it seems more than appropriate. i offer it to you, as well, for whatever challenges the new year brings your way.

"into the fire"

david walked into the valley

with a stone clutched in his hand.

he was only a boy, but he knew someone must take a stand.

there will always be a valley,

always mountains one must scale.

there will always be perilous waters which someone must sail.

into valleys, into waters, into jungles, into hell.

let us ride, let us ride home again with a story to tell.

into darkness, into danger, into storms that rip the night.

don't give in, don't give up,

but give thanks for the glorious fight.

you can tremble, you can fear it

but keep your fighting spirit alive boys.

let the shiver of it sting you

fling into battle, spring to your feet boys.

never hold back your step for a moment.

never doubt that your courage will grow.

hold your head even higher and into the fire we go.

are there mountains that surround us?

are there wall that block the way?

knock 'em down, strip 'em back boys

and forward and into the fray.

into terror, into valor charge ahead, no, never turn.

yes, it's into the fire we fly and the devil will burn.

someone has to face the valley.

rush in, we have to rally and win boys.

when the world is saying not to

by god, you know you've got to march on, boys.

never hold back your step for a moment.

never doubt that your courage will grow.

hold your head ever higher and into the fire we go.

let the lightning strike,

let the flash of it shock you.

choke your fears away.

pull as tight as a wire.

let the fever spike.

let the force of it rock you.

we will have our day, sailing into the fire.

someone has to face the valley .

rush in! we have to rally and win boys.

when the world is saying not to

by god, you know you've got to march on, boys.

never hold back your step for a moment.

look alive! oh, your courage will grow.

yes, it's higher and higher and into the fire we go.

into fire!

onward, ho!

all the best to you in 2009 whatever fires you face. may they be those of the refiner who continuously seeks to strengthen and shape us. be encouraged!

happy new year!

confused

2008-12-29T05:42:00.000-08:00

i suppose it had to happen at some point. although, i thought it might be a little longer than this. i've only been here five months, afterall. and i can't say that i've really turned completely...just looking. is that okay?

the broncos went down big last night. i've tried to support them as much as possible from here. if their game was televised nationally, i was watching (like lastnight...thank you nbc). the rest of the time, i was huddled in my apartment around my computer listening to the game by going to the websites of 850 koa in denver or 740 kvor in colorado springs and getting their audio streaming of the game. sometimes i'd have some other game on tv just to get a visual. that could be confusing right there. admittedly, though, support has been difficult, with the distance and all their injuries...poor blighters. and then last night...mm...losing by 31 points like that. just wait til next year!! i know they'll be back!

so i'm at this strange place of needing a team i can actually follow and watch and keep up with. since this is how many americans determine how they are doing, whether they're a "winner" or not for their monday, etc. the problem is, of course, this area has lots of teams to choose from. what i'm needing is some help in this choice.

i live on the upper west side of manhattan, across the street from central park, just off the b and c line. am i supposed to like the jets or the giants? i like favre since he's old like me and it's great to see him hand some youngin his lunch (although...hasn't happened as much as would be nice, i guess, for jets fans). but i'm wondering if there's some kind of "line" through this city that determines allegiances, at least loosely.

secondly, baseball season is just around the corner. when spring training ends, i've got to have some sense of who to root for. am i supposed to be a mets or yankees fan? i just don't get it.

so, if anyone has some helpful advice for me on who to choose and why, i'm listening. it's all in the name of being a good and decent new yorker for whatever time i'm here. so leave me a comment and share your logic!

until next year...go team. go team go!

Merry Christmas

2008-12-25T06:29:00.000-08:00

in the midst of all the commercialism surrounding the celebration of jesus' birth, it's easy to forget what we really are celebrating. in fact, it's all the craziness of this time with nuts schedules that makes slowing down seem impossible. when do we find the time to rest?

while sitting in church a couple weeks ago i heard something i've never heard before. this is always a fun moment for a preacher since we think we've either heard everything or said it ourselves. tim keller seems to keep saying things i've never heard before and that's great refreshing fun.

so two weeks ago he was using the "begat" passage of matthew 1 with all the names of the generations leading up to jesus. the list ends with a breakdown of the numbers of generations. matthew says there were 14 generations from abraham to king david, 14 generations from david to the babylonian exile, and 14 generations from the exile to christ. the next verse then describes the birth of jesus. there's nothing new there, is there? tim asked the question, "what is this 14, 14, 14 about?" frankly, i didn't have a clue. just seemed like information of a historical nature. but no! i should have remembered all that special theological training i received at fuller seminary and recalled that matthew never just throws in extraneous information just to be informative! no no...he is a theological writer! there is something deeper behind this 14, 14, 14.

three 14's is also six 7's. this makes jesus the 7th seven. along with the divine number, matthew is wanting to remind us of the creation story and the six days of work. the seventh day was a day of rest. jesus, as the 7th seven, is the very rest we all crave in this world. his coming into the world when he did (giving even more weight to the "at just the right time" concept) was to herald "rest" as something, or rather someone, that we could have a relationship with.

new york amplifies the need, it seems, for rest. but i know it's not just this place. we all crave a kind of peace that seems elusive even when we do have the right job, or the right relationship, or the right living situation (the universal trifecta). augustine said that our souls are restless until we find our rest in jesus. and if we're honest, we know we have a restlessness that is rarely, if ever, satisfied. so while you're enjoying gift giving and gift receiving today (and then returning them tomorrow :) and getting tired with it all), remember the "rest" that was born in a manger those many moons ago. the 7th seven has come. this is a rest i can relate to.

merry christmas!

rockettes

2008-12-23T05:38:00.000-08:00

last friday, less than 24 hours after the arrival of my sister to the big city, we were sitting in radio city music hall ready for something spectacular. we were not disappointed. it started with the 36 rockettes dressed up like reindeer with cute little antlers as they pulled santa's sleigh from the north pole into rockefeller center through the help of a 3d movie. i still have the special glasses. it would have been nice if they could also magnify the stage so i could see all 72 of those rather amazing legs as they kicked in unison their trademark chorus line high kicks. we were in the second mezzanine in the 5500 seat theater.

but distance couldn't take away from the magic of my first new york show. a flying santa, dancers kicking, toy wooden soldiers, real ice skating on stage, sugar plum fairies, the complete nativity, live camels, a donkey, more kicking, a double decker bus with dancing girls, singers, 72 legs synchronized with precision, tap dancing, a demonstration of how santa can be in so many places at the same time...there were oodles of dancing santas on stage at the same time. i never knew his legs looked that good.

there's a reason they call this production the radio city christmas spectacular. the scope was tremendous! the creative energy represented on that stage could probably light a small country for several weeks. of course, creative energy is like that. at this time of year, the opportunities abound to light up lives with our creative energy. light 'em up!

bernard

2008-12-20T20:41:00.000-08:00

it's been snowing in new york for a couple days now. very cold. it's made for some pretty good puddles and slush at the street corners. guaranteed to get your feet wet if you try to jump over or circumnavigate them. there is one way to avoid them, however...take a cab.

my sister is visiting the city and because of the generosity of a friend, she has a place to stay over on broadway. my place is not too far away here on central park west. we had been chatting about faith and science and using tim keller's book, "the reason for god" as the catalyst. good stuff. and i might just add how proud we are of our mother whose photo made the most recent copy of scientific american (on newsstands now!).

at any rate...have to get up early to sing in the lessons and carols services of redeemer presbyterian church and my dear sister didn't want me walking home in the cold. so, i took a cab. my driver's name was bernard. he was from ghana but has lived in jersey for the last 18 years or so. he has retained the delightful accent of his homeland, even with a couple local phrases. he won't be going home, either, for christmas. he said he missed his home. i know a little of how he feels.

i asked him how the snow was impacting driving around the city and he made me laugh. he said, "people same drive today as every day." he didn't think that was a good thing. he was just saying that a new york driver sees no reason to change their speed just because of a little moisture on the road. that would be crazy! bernard said he'd seen 4 accidents today. he said all this while cutting off a new york cop in his cruiser going about 40 down broadway toward 96th, in the falling snow and on the wet roads. it was pretty fun. only cost me seven bucks for this thrill ride, too. that's a bargain for a little risk-taking. not like bungee jumping which, i just researched, ranges from $45 to $75 for the first jump and then tack on some more for subsequent leaps. plus, there's a fun tunnel effect when racing down city streets with tall buildings on either side. that's just a free bonus.

bernard got me home safe. tonight he was my saint bernard...sans internally warming beverage in a barrel.

testosterone

2008-12-16T14:03:00.000-08:00

you never know what to expect when going to auditions in new york city. although i've only been at it for three months, there are a few things that are somewhat standard. when you show up, you have to sign up on a list. usually this is so the order is set. those who show up early get to do their thing and then leave. many an actor gets up early in the morning to be first on the list when the doors open at 10:00 a.m., myself included.

another commonality is the holding room. this is a space where everyone waits til their number is called. usually some of those metal folding chairs are around the edges of the room so everyone can stare at their competition. sometimes there are hushed conversations. sometimes there is one or two boisterous personalities who want everyone to know that they are there and they know someone. i believe this is an attempt at intimidation so that those of us who don't know anyone feel that we're at some kind of disadvantage...which, who are we kidding, we are. knowing people makes all the difference.

along with the sign in sheet and the holding room, there's the monitor. this person keeps order, makes sure people are going where they need to go, and answers whatever questions there might be. these are usually very kind people who love the industry and appreciate actors and all their woes. they are also important for giving you a little information about the mood of the casting directors and other insider information that is meant to make you a little more comfortable before baring yourself to these strangers in the small room.

today had all those things as i went in the stage door of the metropolitan opera just off west 65 th street, and moved past the security guard. i signed in on the little sheet and looked for a place to sit around the edges of the room. because the call was specifically for men, that's what the room was full of. because it was also a call for gypsy/fighters who had combat experience, these were a certain sort of men. and because the call was for those who had a percussion background, beating on stretched skin, there were a few fun long hair types, as well. it was already looking slightly different than other auditions.

there were lots of guys in tank tops with muscles to show off. one guy was clearly a body builder...and a good one. when i came in he was polishing off three hard boiled eggs and some fruit while bulging through his polo shirt that could never have been meant to stretch that way. he would certainly be interesting to look at on stage. but there was more to this audition than appearance.

i was led with 16 other met supernumerary potentials down into the bowels of the metropolitan opera theater. we walked past huge and ornate set pieces in warehouse size rooms that were under the stage. finally we arrived in what appeared to be a rehearsal room. it was huge. easily 25 foot ceilings and probably 50 by 60 feet on the floor. we didn't know what was going to happen in here. we handed our headshots to a guy as we came in and stood around looking at four long metal tubes about four inches in diameter and three feet long, sitting on benches. there were large hammers laying next to them. things were getting interesting.

i, of course, was never a percussionist growing up, nor did i ever do any combat, stage or otherwise, so i was feeling a little out of my element but one should go to every audition and let the casting director cut you. don't cut yourself before even trying.

the audition had two parts: a musical component which was really a timing issue, and the combat part. four at a time, we approached the benches with the long metal tubes and heavy hammers, and lifted them. some did practice swings, loosening up their shoulders. others weren't sure what was about to happen. too bad for them. we were auditioning for the great "anvil chorus" from verdi's opera, "il travatore". this was going to take timing, strength, acting, and some good old testosterone! here's a link to the scene from a past performance. you know the tune. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1YsHzTv7mg&feature=related

two of each four were to play on beats 1 and 3, and the other two on 2 and 4 and to hit the anvil as hard as we could, or as the casting guy said, "beat the crap out of it!" we were playing like we were beating out swords on the anvils. how complicated could that be? right. not very. but, as the director began to count in the piano player and bring in the anvils, there were a lot of timing issues which were somewhat painful for the rest of us. not just because people were off the beat (it's important to think about the time it takes to swing your arm around so that the hammer hits the anvil on the beat...a few didn't seem to think about that), but because these were very loud pieces of metal being struck with blunt instruments...and we weren't given ear plugs.

my love for gospel music and the ensuing rhythm that it seems to have instilled in my body was a big advantage for this audition. probably unfair, but...everyone should be listening to kirk franklin. i can't help it if they don't. so i passed the first part of the audition just fine. but next was hand to hand combat. the next several minutes were spent learning and doing several hand to hand, choreographed fight moves complete with grunts and shouts...just like good gypsies would do. i think i did alright. it was nice to get some aggression out on the metal tubes and at least pretend to hit somebody.

this would be a great gig. a couple months of beating the crap out of some anvils at the metropolitan opera and getting paid for it. but either way, this was the coolest audition i've been to yet! :)

mary's song

2008-12-14T15:21:00.000-08:00

heard these words in church this morning and was moved by them. they are part of a larger poem by luci shaw as she imagines mary commenting on her baby jesus although with a theological perspective that is full.

older than eternity, now he is new.

now native to earth as i am, nailed to my poor planet,

caught that i might be free,

blind in my womb to know my darkness ended,

brought to this birth for me to be new-born,

and for him to see me mended

i must see him torn.

welcome

2008-12-14T15:15:00.003-08:00

there's a concert going on right now that i'm missing for the first time in over 10 years. a favorite song of mine is very special this time of year and perhaps even more so this year. it's by chris rice.

tears are falling, hearts are breaking

how we need to hear from god.

you've been promised. we've been waiting.

welcome holy child. welcome holy child.

hope that you don't mind our manger

how i wish we would have known.

but long awaited holy stranger

make yourself at home. please make yourself at home.

bring your peace into our violence

bid our hungry souls be filled.

word now breaking heaven's silence

welcome to our world. welcome to our world

fragile finger sent to heal us

tender brow prepared for thorn

tiny heart whose blood will save us

unto us is born. unto us is born.

so wrap our injured flesh around you

breathe our air and walk our sod

rob our sin and make us holy

perfect son of god, perfect son of god.

welcome to our world.

extra extra!

2008-12-14T14:24:00.000-08:00

the past couple weeks have seen quite a bit of activity on the tv background front. after my momentous appearance in a very brief scene on "life on mars," the method for getting "extra" work was known and understood. more brief appearances have occurred in "kings" with ian mcshane. he's shorter in person than he seemed in films. that seems to be the regular thought as i see actors in person. this was a long shoot (an 18 hour day followed by a second shorter day) at a mansion turned museum out on long island. beautiful place that was right up to my standard of living. :) it really was extraordinary. good place for a show about a king. don't you think?

this week, there was a pilot being shot for showtime directed by tim robbins. yep, that's

him eating with all of us non-union scrubs during the lunch break. he was a pretty laid back director. i think he's put on a couple pounds since the shawshank redemption days.

after helping tim put his pilot together, there was work to do on a detective show called "the unusuals". i may actually get a little air time on this one. look for the guy shuffling through paper "investigating" something behind the stars of the show.

then there was gossip girl. i don't know anything about this show except that it's supposed to be the new 90210 but in new york city with kids from the upper east side. my part in gossip girl was to appear in my tuxedo at the theater (supposedly the metropolitan opera - however we shot the scene on staten island at an old theater). even after five hours of shooting, i'm still clueless about this show. all i know is that two of the kids were on a date at the opera. before the show starts and everyone is getting settled in (that was the masterful work of all of us background actors looking like uptown opera attenders getting into our seats, etc.), the girl starts to have some kind of coughing fit. i guess it was funny for some reason, but i'm not sure how it fits into the story. what's remarkable is that this scene in its final form will probably take no more than 2 minutes of air time...if that. there were 250+ extras, all of us getting a minimum of $85 for the shoot and many getting more. some quick math reveals that these two minutes cost about $25,000 in background actors alone. that's before you start figuring in food, snacks, crew, the expensive talent, and other expenses. i don't think the producers of gossip girl know there's a financial crisis going on. in fact, i was just told that i was cut from my catering gig tomorrow...econmics. client needs to save money.

there is a very curious background actor sub-culture. i'm seeing many of the same faces at each of these shoots. i don't think they're going for anything more than background work which is fine...they can make a bit of a living that way. i'll do some more of it, but i will be auditioning for other things, as well. with extra work, you never know what is going to turn up until the day before. so one must live with faith that there will be work tomorrow even though it's unknown til the night before. keeps things interesting.

the wilderness...venturing the unknown, depending on manna from above...he is faithful.

working actor

2008-12-02T06:28:00.000-08:00

yes, it's true. made my first dollars acting yesterday. a whopping $80 for a day of shooting (mostly sitting around waiting to shoot) on the set of "life on mars" which airs on thursday evenings. not sure when this show will air, but it will be sometime in the new year. the basic plot involves a new york cop from 2008 who finds himself in 1973 after an accident. obviously this calls for some fun wardrobe choices and excellent sideburns which made the set look very fun. but not just the people, the set itself was like stepping into the past: rotary phones, typewriters (remember them?), massive steel desks, cigarette machines with the pull knobs before they moved all cigarettes behind the counter.

the show stars harvey keitel and some others that i don't really know. they were all on set as w

e crowded them, asking questions as extras playing various print, tv, and radio reporters. the scene lasted about 20 seconds. if i'm on

camera at all, it will be about 2 seconds.

that's 10% for you economically minded people. yes, this is harvey.

It was a fun day. I've attached a few photos of yours truly trying to get into character in my sweet, vintage, 1970's three-piece suit. and since i know you would ask, the cigarette is a prop! and those bars are part of the set...no worries on my status in the city. and the stuff on my boots was a kind of foam to cut down on noise during the shoot.

it's pretty amazing the lengths we go to for our entertainment. for this 20 second scene, there were probably 25 - 30 of us extras which is great cause everyone is cool and it's great to meet folks. in fact, the photos of me on set were taken by one of the cool extras. we got into a little trouble but nothing that should keep me from working in the future. :) each of us received our $80 (although there were a few s.a.g. folks who made more). i know they'll make it all back in advertising dollars, but it was interesting to be a part of this aspect of our economy. so thank you for supporting the advertisers of this show. you helped me buy some yogurt and put something toward the pillow where i lay my head. yay advertising supporters!!!

frankly, i think the shot of me on the phone looks like a regular detective on the show. i should send it to them to consider. i could just be the guy on the phone in the background of all the office shots. i'm believable, aren't i? maybe lose the pads on the shoes...

first public performance

2008-11-17T05:27:00.000-08:00

after three and half months in the city, the first public performance of mark has now occurred! granted, i was part of the chorus in a choral presentation, but a milestone nonetheless. i'm sometimes disappointed or upset with myself that i haven't achieved more here in the big apple. when i mention this to people here, they ask how long i've been here and i tell them, "oh, about three months." that's when they give me a look that says something like, "get over yourself. you're crazy to feel that way!" that's not what they say, just what their faces say. what they actually say is something more like, "you just got here! it takes time to learn this city, meet contacts, learn music, etc." and of course, they're right. i've always had some kind of internal pressure to produce something in life. it would appear that it is as healthy a drive on the east coast as it has been anywhere else.

this was what was called a professional level chorus for this presentation of haydn's "creation". this means that everyone in the choir has been paid to sing at some point but we all donated our time for this event. there was an orchestra and soloists and it really was a great evening of music.

but the music was just the setting for a lecture entitled, "can faith be green?" a very interesting discussion concerning stewardship of the planet. i'm glad that the christian community has a number of leaders who are encouraging their parishioners to be stewards of this world we have been given. as the apostle john records our lord saying, "for god so loved the world, he gave his one and only son..." this is to say that god loves what god created which includes us and the earth. we were meant to be stewards of the garden, not destructive consumers. now, even gardeners remove some trees for cultivation of the garden, so there is a balance to be sought. christian theology, though, supplies compelling resources for working out this balance.

my first public performance. took less than four months from arrival date. hopefully soon i'll be reporting on the first dollar earned for performance. that remains an elusive target right now.

this blog was written in a recyclable medium.

sick

2008-11-13T17:14:00.000-08:00

there's something sad about being sick in a place far from home. family and friends care, but they really aren't nearby to come and put a damp washcloth on your forehead or whip up some chicken noodle soup.

so here i am in a far away land. people everywhere, but like many here, experiencing profound aloneness. and now i'm sick. can't even sing at the moment. the economy is difficult so whenever there's a catering opportunity, i need to take it. like this afternoon. went in at 2:00 pm to do set up for a big benefit event at the hammerstein ballroom. gorgeous place on 34th street between 8th and 9th avenue.

i was already feeling bad when i arrived which must have shown since joe, my captain, commented on it. he cut me early since i looked a bit like death warmed over but not before i got a few hours in which was gracious of him since i wasn't doing much heavy lifting. mostly folding napkins. the few hours will be helpful. what was fun was hearing the artists doing their sound checks. first up, alicia keys. the other...well, see if you can guess from the photo i took during his sound check a few hours ago and posted below. let me know. he's at the piano, wearing the hat. he's a pretty big deal to some people.

so...i'm home now, writing this blog and heading to bed. missing the music back at hammerstein, but finishing some chicken soup and soothing a hoarse voice. if you know someone who's sick, offer something of yourself. it will mean the world to them.

houston, we have a...

2008-11-07T08:30:00.000-08:00

...blessing. houston drives the m66 crosstown bus. crosstown busses are key for any uptown folks since there are no subways going under central park. so for a guy like me at 94th on the upper west side to get to a meeting at 91st on the upper east side, it would be crazy to take the trains around the park. in fact, to do that, i would have to take at the least three trains, and possibly four, to make that trip. for example, the three train route would be to take the "b" train from 96th down to 7th ave. there i would switch to the "e" train to lexington where i would jump on the "4", "5", or "6" to 86th street and walk up to 91st. the four train option is to start off on the "c" train and make a transfer at columbus circle to a "b" or "d" train around the bend to 7th ave. you may not believe me when i say this, but i just did all that from memory.

anyway, houston was looking at a cd cover when i got on the bus to cross town at 66th. i asked him about it and he said it was karaoke preparation for after work on friday afternoon. apparently he gives some cheer to the bus drivers on friday afternoon to help them start their weekend with some fun thoughts and smiles. i'd love to start my weekend that way since it was kind of a rough day on the audition circuit.

houston and i struck up a conversation about music, singing, life, his marriage, etc. basically life boils down to two things for him, doing right by himself and god. after that, everything should be fine. i was amazed at how generous he was with himself, sharing some of his failures with me. but the icing was him offering me a gift. he pulled his bag out and pulled a bus map out and gave it to me saying that now i could get anywhere in town. i suppose since i've got the subways mastered it's time to do the graduate course in the new york city bus transit system. the map was more than just directions since it came as a gift. brother houston blessed me.

saints

2008-11-03T19:08:00.000-08:00

went to a choir concert tonight and cried during this song. perspective is always nice to have from time to time...

as grains of sand, as stars,

as drops of dew,

numbered and treasured by the almighty hand,

the saints triumphant throng

that holy land

where all things and jerusalem are new.

we know not half they sing

or half they do,

but this we know,

they rest and understand;

while like a conflagration freshly fanned

their love glows upward,

outward,

thro' and thro'.

lo! like a stream on incense launched on flame

fresh saints stream up from death to life above,

to shine among those others and rejoice:

what matters tribulation whence they came?

all love and only love can find a voice

where god makes glad his saints,

for god is love.

~christina rosetti (1830-1894)

field promotion

2008-10-24T07:36:00.000-07:00

the evening started like any other. the 188 year old new york eye and ear infirmary was having their celebration dinner and i was assigned a table of happy eaters. my orders from command were to keep the water and wine glasses charged which i followed to a 't'. there was really nothing out of the ordinary about the beginnings of the evening. we preset the first course. had what i call the bermuda triangle glass set. in fact, this is my first contribution to the new york catering world. it has already moved from "bermuda triangle glass set" to "bt set up" which everyone knows is the white wine glass at the top of the knife, the red wine glass up and to the right, and the water glass up and to the left. the bases of the three glasses forming the isosceles triangle (thanks, dad, for teaching me what that was so many years ago). bermuda refers to the fact that any liquids in this triangle have a curious way of disappearing.

after clearing the first course, we served the main. the captain for the evening was roberto who i've worked with before. a stickler for service who runs a tight ship and appreciates his soldiers. in fact, i love that he says "thank you" to us several times a night. last night he offered kisses to the entire company. i didn't see any evidence of delivery. in order to conquer the room more efficiently, we were divided into platoons and led by a couple sergeants who had direct communication with captain roberto at all times. ear pieces, sleeve mics...the whole deal. field communication advances in the dining room have come a long way.

since i was supposed to stay in the dining room for clear up, my evening was just about over. and then it happened. the captain called me over for special duty. he asked me to leave the clean up in the dining room and move to a new theater of activity...dessert! this was taking place in another room on site with dueling pianos going at it. fun room.

however, the big moment was still to come. at 9:45 pm with about 15 minutes left in the event, one of the sergeants promoted me to bartender! finally my bartender's license put to good use.

yep...not a bad night. promoted in the field. things are going to start happening to me now!

musings

2008-10-24T05:37:00.000-07:00

several nights ago i had dinner with some more celebrities. quite the group, really. mayor bloomberg, anna wintour (editor of vogue), tommy hilfiger, calvin klein, and emceed by deborah norville. it was amazing to me, that when calvin told the group that "ralph couldn't make it," everyone knew exactly who he was talking about. at my table was an up and coming actress and film maker i recognized from the movie city slickers that starred billy crystal. what i didn't realize is that this woman at my table whose name plate read, "lindsay miller" is in fact lindsay crystal miller, the daughter of billy crystal. and she was at my table. i served her dinner. and dessert. and filled her water glass...she said hi to me.

the event was a charity dinner to thank some top donors. the fashion industry is among those donors but there were many others, including the mayor. the group is called, "god's love, we deliver." they deliver meals to people debilitated by various diseases including hiv/aids. some 800,000 meals were delivered last year alone. a great work and a tremendous number of volunteers that make it all happen. my roommate's mother received meals here in the apartment i'm living in from this organization in the last couple years of her life.

obviously, the organization's name caught my eye and caused some thoughts to brew in my mind since there was no mention of god during the dinner, or his love which was being delivered. matthew 25:31 and following talks about the sheep and the goats being separated by particular activities. "i was hungry and you gave me something to eat, i was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, i was a stranger and you invited me in, i needed clothes and you clothed me, i was sick and you looked after me, i was in prison and you came to visit me. then the righteous (the sheep) will answer him, 'lord, when did we do all that?' the king will reply, 'i tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me." it's difficult to argue with the actions of this group. in fact, i'm not. the sheep in the story appear to be surprised that they are among god's righteous and i'm sure there are others in this world who will be in this category. probably some surprised goats, as well. is all this delivery the spirit of christ at work?

the other side of the argument comes from john 6:28-29. here some people ask jesus, "what must we do to do the works god requires?" and jesus answers, "the work of god is this: to believe in the one he has sent." this would appear to say that belief is the primary action for disciples. is the spirit of christ at work in the charity without recognition of that spirit or is it merely human effort? is it sufficient to believe correctly but not engage in the activities of the sheep?

i have no real conclusion at this point beyond saying that both appear important. i mean, jesus said both things. you may have clearer thoughts. these were just fun musings that ran through my mind during the dinner that ralph couldn't make.

french service

2008-10-22T06:04:00.000-07:00

who knew that the public library would be a venue for a wedding reception? is that the first place you think of for your special party? i guess this was the location for one of the "sex and the city" girls to have her reception. i'm not too up on my episodes. so someone figured they would do the same thing. and heck, why not, if you have an extra $100,000 lying around just to rent the space! after that, you could drop another 300k on the designers and rental of tables, candelabras, dinnerware, etc. then of course, you'll need lighting so you can light up the tableware just right...oh, and you'll need to light the entry hall, mezzanine level and third floor bars, and certainly can't forget the dance hall. all of this is before paying me to cater your party, along with about 100 of my friends. food and wine for the 400 guests and as many vodka shots as they want to down will be an additional cost. the 12 piece band for the dance, the violinist to play jewish-russian wedding music, keeping the ice bar solid from 5 pm saturday night to 3 am sunday morning, and other sundries. that should do it...shouldn't be more than 2 million dollars. maybe a little more.

this really was the most richly decorated event i've catered since arriving here. the library itself is stunning. you can check out basic pictures of the library at www.nypl.org. the pics i've posted here are just the little ones i took with my phone of the event. the library sits in bryant park between 40th and 42nd street with its entrance on 5th avenue. by the way, all those candles on the steps of the entry were placed by yours truly and some cater buddies. people were stopping constantly to ask what was going on. some took advantage of the backdrop for their own photos. one lady asked if it was a vigil for the war.

the dining table was unbelievable. the photo here doesn't really do it justice. it almost looks like some kind of optical illusion photo, but it really does

just keep going and going. this i know, since i had to walk it an untold number of times in set up as well as during dinner. 200 per side. imagine that space with 400 guests and another 50 or so waiters all trying to scoot past one another in the 2 feet behind the chairs which in this pic haven't been placed yet, and filled with 400 healthy bodies that like to sit a foot away from the table. two words... may hem. and then

we were giving french service, as it's called. this is when you take a

tray with servings for 10 or so. you dish it out at the table, always from the left of course which meant everyone was leaning to their right...right into their neighbor. it was tight! still...there was a kind of opulent elegance, or elegant opulence to the design of it all. can those words be put together?

the day began at 4:15 am saturday morning for a catering gig in connecticut. we arrived back in manhattan at 5:00 pm at which point i hustled over to the library for the wedding reception gig for the next 12 hours of my life. yes...i pulled a 24 hour shift. i think there are many who do this for a variety of reasons. i just wanted to appear macho. finished the breakdown of the ice bar (yep, the whole thing was made of ice!), glasses, leftover food, and a small glass of scotch with the boss around 4:00 am Sunday morning and made my way home. dreamland by 5:00.

next time you are at a catered event, say hi to your waiter. they may be at the end of their strength, beyond

even the effects of red bull. they may be the next movie star or theater diva. as with everything, there are so many unknown and hidden stories of those who serve us.

discovery

2008-10-13T13:13:00.001-07:00

i've made what is perhaps a very dangerous discovery...a wi-fi hot spot in central park. now i can get real new york dust on my screen without it first going through the venetian blind filter over my apartment window.

the fresh and lovely october air is nice too. it's actually pretty warm out here.

this will be the first of many visits to this tranquil spot, for sure. and of course one hot spot means there could be another.

i'm mark in central park...and i've just found, the internet.

dessert

2008-10-12T22:21:00.000-07:00

my roommate, eric, was gone this weekend. i found myself doing what i love to do with an empty kitchen...make nachos. but also, creme brulee, which to my mind is among the finest desserts somebody ever came up with. nothing like raw egg yolks, sugar, heavy cream and some special flavoring. everything a growing artery block needs. ever since its first appearance in a 1691 cookbook in france, this dessert with it's carmelized sugar shell has been pleasing palates around the globe.

well...i make the best creme brulee. truly, you should try it sometime. i prepared some for eric and he informed me of the same thing. the fact that he had never had it before is really immaterial. it is his new favorite dessert!

anisha

2008-10-12T20:20:00.001-07:00

it was a late night last night. or early morning. same thing, i guess. another catering gig with the food network as the general client. and what would a gig for the food network be without another celebrity that i've never heard of but everyone else says is a really cool guy? so, this time it was chef duff, aka "the ace of cakes." i can see why he was given this name. he had made a huge cake in the shape of a whisk. pretty impressive really. it fit the location at "the tunnel" which runs from one avenue to another on 28th street between 11th and 12th avenue. i was told it used to be a night club and i can tell it must have been a very cool place.

since the party didn't start til 9:00 pm, i didn't have to be there til 8:00. but that meant going to the wee hours of this morning. got home about 3:00 am. sleep by 3:3o or so and my ongoing issue of not being able to sleep more than about 6 hours meant waking up promptly at 9:30. so i figured i would catch the sermon at redeemer on the west side at 64th. service started at 9:15. i was out the door at 9:41. not bad, if you ask me. ran to the subway, down the stairs, swiped my mta (metro transit authority) monthly pass, and quickly made my way to the platform. looked down the tunnel and realized that there was no train in site. the view from 96th looking uptown is clear for several stops. no lights means no train! no way i was going to make it to 64th in time for the sermon, but perhaps that was ok.

still, i tried. i ran back up the steps from the platform, through the turnstile, up the stairs to the sidewalk and saw the m10 across the street heading downtown. i booked it over there and made it on, thanking the driver. there weren't very many on the bus so i just stayed at the front and, as i like to do, started talking to the driver. anisha told me i was lucky to get on the bus. i told her i was late for church and grateful that she waited for me. she smiled and said the reason i was lucky is because she was giving her tithe to the woman who was keeping the bus from moving and got off just before i got on. this was a sister!

she asked where i was heading and i told her. then i asked where she went and she said that driving the bus made it pretty difficult to ever go, which made it all the more amazing to me that she was giving a tithe at all. she said she likes preachers that keep her awake since so many cause her to go to sleep. like this one preacher she enjoyed. "he was a preacher with drama!" which meant that he preached on adultery and used the affair he was having as a sermon illustration while his wife sat in the front row and yelling "preach! preach!" gotta love a church that is so real that the community allows for some sinners...in the pulpit!

i told her she'd enjoy hearing me preach since i had drama too. dr. keller at redeemer has been talking about community a lot recently. luke 15 has the religious leaders upset with jesus since he was hangin with "sinners and tax collectors." they had never seen a community like this before. a community with sinners?! crazy. he ended his sermon by saying the body of christ must commit to the flock - the one jesus died to build. this means committing to a community that allows each other to be sinners.

what a gracious understanding of community. anisha said that whatever drama i might have, god wouldn't have given it if he didn't know i could handle it. i love it when bus drivers preach. didn't even need to go to church anymore. she had already reminded me of god's presence even in the isolation of this place. and with that, had reminded me that he knew what real isolation was all about. he experienced it for me so that ultimately, i wouldn't have to.

those 30 blocks by bus were a great start to the day. don't worry, i still went to church. another good sermon. i'll save that for another time.

burgers

2008-10-10T06:17:00.000-07:00

you know i like burgers. and i really like them with tasty crispy bacon under and over melted cheese. sometimes i like to throw some bleu cheese on their for a little zing, but i have to have really thought through this since i don't keep bleu cheese around very often. i've even waited in line for a burger before. sometimes at wendy's where my standard order is a "double cheese plain, add bacon and mayonnaise." sometimes i've waited at burger king where my order is similar to that of wendy's. so i understand what it is to wait in line for a burger.

what i don't get is what i saw last night. i've catered a number of events now. i've seen some real celebrities. i refreshed the water glass of michael phelps recently, and even bob costas! it was exhilarating. in fact i think i handle myself pretty well around celebrity types especially since one of the brat pack from some of those 80's movies lives in my building and we ride the elevator together. you would know her. but do i freak out when i see her? do i get tongue tied? do i rush to her for an autograph? no, no, and no.

so last night i was working at the chelsea market. very cool building since it stretches from ninth avenue all the way to tenth. that's a pretty good stretch for new york. anywhere else it would simply not exist. an indoor marketplace with cheese shops, wine shops, a couple more cheese vaults, a wine vault, some bread stores, a glassware shop with a selection of wine glasses for all the wine you can buy in the other shops...and i'm sure there must be a cutting board shop and some fun knives so you can cut up all those cheese varieties.

chelsea market is primarily on the main floor. the second floor is the headquarters of the food network. yes we have a network entirely dedicated to food. one of their celebrities is, apparently, a guy named bobby flay. i almost titled this blog, "who the hell is bobby flay?!" since i had never heard of him. i guess he is a burger chef who has become famous for taking a well shaped beef patty and dragging it by the stove, putting some potato chips on it and a bun and calling it a crunch burger. the one i had was pretty rare. sure it was tasty, but it was burger! and where was the bacon?!!

well, there was a burger station in chelsea market and that was the area i was bussing last night. two words...night mare! bottleneck all night. and just to make it more fun, this booby flay guy comes out and stands behind his burger table every now and then. the people went nuts for him. cameras appeared out of nowhere, camera phones popped up over the crowd with their little blue screens jerkily tracking a moving target. he'd stand there and smile his winning smile, serve a burger or two, sign autographs, and then disappear again behind the screen. but the impact of his appearing made an already ridiculous crowd even worse and practically immobile. felt like i was back at csu and some frat party with wall to wall people and very little movement. i half expected to see a toga any moment or some naked people get passed overhead.

behind the little screen was where i was going all the time with my teetering trays of empty wine glasses and mostly eaten burger plates for the trash. i saw bobby back there. seemed pretty normal to me. nice guy. i guess he makes a good burger.

but once again i ask, where was the bacon?!

planters

2008-10-03T18:46:00.000-07:00

there are many beautiful planters around this town. as you walk down the streets on the upper east or west sides, you pass the steep steps of classic brownstone town homes. tree lined streets where the trees are surrounded by little barriers that hold in the dirt that gives home to the trees. the same can be found in hell's kitchen, chelsea, the village and all the other neighborhoods in town.

Some of these planters are made of bricks, others of wrought iron. i've seen morning glories and clematis, impatiens and ivy, all growing at the base of leafy trees. oak, maple, elm, birch, ash...you name it, it's probably growing in a planter somewhere in this city.

i used to think these planters were placed throughout these side streets for the beautification of the city and certainly this is a piece of the story since they are lovely and provide some nice flowers, after all. but i know better now. it is my observation that their primary function is to provide a place for the dogs of this city to evacuate their bladders...which they take full advantage of!

the city is getting a bonanza on fertilizer.

trains

2008-10-03T18:40:00.000-07:00

there are few things more frustrating than when you're waiting for a "c" train four "e" trains go by in a row!

earl

2008-09-29T16:43:00.000-07:00

today i met earl. he drives the number 10 bus up 8th ave. which turns into central park west along central park, and then frederick douglas boulevard north of 110th street. the bus was crowded and i had a load of, if you can believe it, candles and cheap white t-shirts in a new duffel bag i bought in the garment district. i'll never buy t-shirts for more than $1.75 again.

since we were crowded into the bus and i hate that no one talks to one another, i asked the driver how he was doing. he seemed surprised that i would address him but very willing to converse. i had 20 blocks to go from the bed, bath, and beyond store so we chatted a bit. certainly didn't want him to be neglected up there in the front seat. he's been driving a bus for just over 10 years now and has developed some seniority which allows him to select from the various routes. some of them pay better than others. he's single and laughed when i suggested that we were both "bachelors to the rapture."

there's a stereotype that we may have about bus drivers. earl bucked it. we talked about the economy and the vote today in congress. he was happy that the bailout plan didn't pass. angry, in fact, that he was being asked to pay for a problem he had no part in creating. he has been thinking about how the economy will impact public transportation around new york and believes that his job is fairly secure. as pocketbooks tighten, the bus becomes a more viable option than taxis. a bus ride to anywhere in the city is $2. a taxi ride starts at $2.50 to sit your cheeks down on the faux leather seat of the cab and goes up from there. this leads him to think that more people will be riding buses in the coming months.

i guess we'll find out if his speculations are correct. either way, i hope i get to ride with earl again sometime soon. talk to your bus drivers and make sure they have a good day for having met you. they hold your life in their hands.

your 6

2008-09-18T11:00:00.001-07:00

one of the fun things about growing up in a military family is all the acronyms that one becomes familiar with. there are many letter ones like awol (absent without leave which is a bad thing), tdy (temporary duty which can be fun if the location you're sent to is exotic with waterfalls and such), and many others that you may have heard or not heard. there are top secret ones too which i can't share here since i shouldn't reveal that i know them. but trust me...there are.

there are also some number ones that i enjoy. someone may say, "i've got your six" which is to say that they are behind you or that they have your back since 6:00 would be your backside if you stood in the middle of a clock facing the twelve. with me? directionally, too, a pilot may reference where a bogey is by saying a particular time. these are important instructions with life and death consequences.

in the catering world, we have some important acronyms, as well, the consequences of which could be life and death with respect to your job! last week in a salad preset (that's s.p. in my cosmos), the little salad included a half pear. we were told clearly, pear goes at 12:00. now i realize i grew up in a privileged household, not only because we could afford a kitchen clock that provided a big hand and a small hand that my loving parents could explain the time with, but the military aspect certainly helped, as well. but still...how hard can it be to figure out that when the command is "pear goes at 12:00" you don't put it at 3:30, 6:00, or 9:45?! this proved to be a difficult concept for many.

compounding it was the order for the butter blossoms (those little butter pads molded to look like little flowers) to go at 3:00. but there were two! so does one of them go at 2:55 and the other at 3:05? do you stack them both at 3:00? are the blossoms as big as 15 minute intervals on the bread plate clock?! this sent many of my catering contemporaries into a tailspin. in the end, it seemed best to put the bottom butter blossom belatedly beyond 3:00 by barely a minute. then leaning the other butter blossom on the bottom bud. it turned out beautifully.

p.s. new york has its own set of acronyms

uws = upper west side

ues = upper east side

cpw = central park west

hk = hell's kitchen

gut check

2008-09-18T11:00:00.000-07:00

seems like every gig i cater for, there is an inevitability of a thought process that i'm working through. somewhere around the third tray of empty champagne flutes, small plates, wine glasses, and soiled napkins, i think to myself, "i have a masters degree." and then begins the mental sideshow that is unseen by my colleagues. i have found that many of them have similar situations. catered a party last week with a guy who has a ph.d. in psychology. last night with a girl who also has a masters. yet we play our role in this city providing service for party people who are hungry and providing jobs for people like myself who are living the dream.

i also find myself thinking about two people who some might say were misplaced with respect to their mental ability. i can't say i'm in their league at all. merely that i've been thinking about them and the satisfaction that they appear to have experienced in their lives. brother lawrence as he simultaneoulsy peeled potatoes and deep theological connections to god in the kitchen of his monastery. i think of his menial task and its provision for others as similar to the service i'm providing. it brings a smile to my face and helps me care for the people i meet. so many of them are in difficult places right now with all the financial meltdowns.

i also think of henri nouwen and his work with mentally disabled people. this is not to compar the people i'm serving to those that henri served, but to say that he could have been, and was, in far more prominent situations. he chose to change that and serve in a less public venue.

all those waiters and stuffed tuxedos that i remember growing up or seeing in restaurants, now have a new member in myself. they are hard workers with dreams of better lives and the transitory world of food service is a ready support mechanism. they are easy to overlook. this may be what's difficult for such a social creature like myself. that sense that i'm overlooked and taken for granted. it's a good lesson for an ego the size of mine. afterall...i have a masters degree!

refills

2008-09-13T06:54:00.001-07:00

one of the great disappointments of new york city is the fact that restaurants don't do free refills. this is a mystery to anyone coming from just about anywhere else. what i'm used to, of course, is getting a sprite or coke, draining it, and getting a new glass from the waiter before i'm even finished with the first. i mean...it's sugar water. it costs two cents. i pay a buck and get served as much as i want. but in new york it's a different story. you pay two bucks and get your one glass, or can, or whatever unit of volume you like.

before going up to new rochelle for a catering gig, i stopped off in the dining concourse of grand central station. it's below the main concourse which you see in all the movies with its aptly named grand ceiling which seems to expand like the sky while still being indoors. it really is huge in there and fun to blend into the crowd of travelers each with their own life and destination. one hundred and seventeen different tracks come into grand central which means tons of activity and a very large food area to feed weary people along their way. i was not so weary, but i was hungry so i scoped out a few joints in this food court. one of them was a place called junior's. seemed like the kind of place that might just have refills. so i asked to be sure...but the answer was no. very disappointing.

i walked on for a bit to lodge my protest against junior's. the hostess was apologetic and because of that, after a few minutes of walking around looking at various food services, i went back, ordered a burger and a large coke. everything was quite tasty, including the coke. you know how you can get a coke at some places and it's a little too watery or there's not enough carbonation. this was a good coke.

then it happened. i didn't really see it unfold until it was too late. some businessman with a backpack was walking by my table. we were all cramped in there pretty tight which is the nature of dining in new york. i was so close to the next table that i couldn't help be hear the sad story of a woman talking about how her husband had walked out on her. he's getting married this weekend to the woman he was having the affair with. of course, the other thing about new york is that i'll never see her again and all i can do is say a prayer for her and her situation. but anyway, we were all in there pretty tight. so as the businessman with his backpack went by my table, a waiter was trying to get through, as well, from the other direction. so of course, the businessman swung sideways to let the waiter by which slammed his backpack into my coke...my precious, no refill, perfect syrup, perfect carbonation, iced, cup of coke...and it landed on my french fries and lap. another disappointment.

he was apologetic, of course. i didn't know what to say. for a moment i thought about how i'd seen other new yorkers respond in similar situations. usually i see tempers, flared arms and hands, raised voices, a scene, expectation of some kind of reparation, etc. the moment had passed and i missed my window of opportunity to get upset with someone and to demand a free lunch.

however, i did get a free refill.

limericks

2008-09-09T07:01:00.000-07:00

there works a young man as a caterer

which is really the same as a waiterer

he wakes up real early

to determine that surely

he'll always be sooner than laterer.

there once worked a man as a caterer

to support his desire as a daterer

he busted his tail

serving hors d'oeuvres and ale

hoping as a lover not a haterer.

there worked a young man as a caterer

it would seem it was his faterer

to serve like c-three-pee-oh

without making a peep-e-oh

to please a boss like darth vaderer.

the rest of the story

2008-09-08T21:45:00.000-07:00

remember the dell guy? the dude that would say, "dude, you're gettin a dell!" ever wonder what happened to him? well, he's living in new york city of all places...bartending.

this morning on the way to newark, new jersey, i got the full scoop. another fun part of catering is the interesting people you work with. one of them in the minivan with me (i was driving...but that's another story) began talking about this guy and how she had talked with him last night about something or other. we all wondered what was happening with him. she told us about the trouble he got into. so, this is a spoiler alert. if you really don't want to hear anything negative about the dell guy, stop reading now!

she apparently was with him the night it happened. some kind of birthday party that i'm sure was very fun depending on definitions. for some reason the police came by and caught him with something illegal. the kind of something that has a variety of names. gange, weed, maui-wowi, grass...my years strolling the halls at the colorado college familiarized me with the strong emitted odor. this was on a friday which meant his arrest would put him in the clink for the weekend since he couldn't be arraigned until monday.

that would be bad enough, but to make matters worse, he was wearing a kilt. you can almost imagine the humor of the scene if this was in a movie. a 22 year old blonde kid, wearing a kilt, taken downtown for a weekend in the slammer...who turns out to be the dell guy. i'm sure he would have made a number of friends even in such a short stint. his friend, my passenger in the minivan, was getting very upset with the police for not letting him change his clothes before taking him and began taking names and badge numbers. apparently, they began to see that it would be better for everyone if he was given the opportunity to at least put some pants on. the new york post ran an article detailing the story, full of photos and a headline that read, "Dude, you're getting a cell!" nice.

he's 30 now, putting his life back together, acting in some theater pieces in the city, and working as a bartender. i had asked myself a number of times when a dell ad came on what the story was and now we know...the rest of the story.

opportunity

2008-09-08T21:04:00.000-07:00

have you ever wondered what question you would ask if you were ever in a position to ask your deepest question to someone who is supposed to know the deepest answers to these kinds of things? today i had such an opportunity. very exciting, actually.

to get to this opportunity i rose early and arrived at the car rental place on 37th on time at 8:30. here i would meet others from the agency and head to our gig...in newark, new jersey. the arch diocese of newark was celebrating the ordination of one of their bishops. it was huge. 2000 people at the service. kinda made me feel pretty inadequate. i only had about 150 at my ordination service. and there weren't any cardinals at my service, either. but i couldn't think about this because these people needed to be fed and served drinks! a task i've become fairly good at in recent weeks. as an aside, i have to say it was a remarkable sight to see

one of the bar stations set up under a crucifix. the picture is just to prove it. still, there's something curiously poetic and maybe even right about the image. i'll leave that to you to think about.

the list of attendees was extensive and some of them were people i'd seen on tv when they want to ask a catholic about the position of the church on something. priests, bishops, arch bishops, and even cardinal egan was there. egan hangs out with the pope. all these guys were hanging out in the library in their robes, various acoutremont', some had sandals, collars, colors, chains, and more trappings of roman catholicism. in the middle of this gang was egan, friend and american mouthpiece of the pope. able to answer the deepest of questions. my moment had come and i knew it as i walked into the room. i approached and asked the only question on my mind. a question that had become programmed through hours of catering since arriving in this city that some have referred to as nineveh...

"would you like some tomato basil on bruschetta?"

his answer was no.

bennies

2008-09-08T20:27:00.000-07:00

one of the fun things about catering is having found a high-end company to work for. saturday night there was a wedding for which i was asked to help serve, butler, and bus for. doesn't that sound nice? i'm butlering now. this took place in a very cool penthouse space on 30th and 5th avenue. i would love to live in this space. huge open space that could house my 9' grand piano with ease, an alcove that is screaming for my king size bed, and plenty of other space for pretty much all the rest of my stuff. not to mention the upstairs roof garden/patio...very nice. i think it would only take jugillion dollars but it's all fantasy anyway, so who's counting?

typical to these evenings is the "captain" talking us through all that is going to take place, the timing, and who's on what kind of detail. todd was the captain saturday night and began taking us through the evening. 6:15 - start serving drinks to early guests. 7:00 - help seat the guests. 7:15 - ceremony begins. 7:30 - ceremony ends, groom steps on and breaks the glass with a hearty "la' chaim!" 7:31 - serve more drinks and clean up empty glasses (there were many). 7:32 - serve appetizers. 8:30 - put the little cheeseburgers on the buffet table... at this point i became confused and perhaps you can see why. it's just not kosher, but i was told that the wedding was only half jewish. i guess that made it alright.

the important thing, and the nice thing about working for this company, is that i can count on great food to eat when the time comes. there's a magic moment when the captain gives you a nod and says, "take a break and eat some food." mmmmmmmmmm...i couldn't have prepared any of this stuff even with all kinds of time to try. i would have made nachos or something. this was gourmet with little sauces and finger foods...and even vegetables. i don't mind the vegetables, really. when they're prepared, i'll eat 'em.

i should eat well this week. that's a good thing. i'm thanking god for provision.

sushisamba

2008-08-31T05:10:00.000-07:00

what can one say? when you're wrong, you're wrong. i was wrong.

in my "sake and sushi" post i made quite a few cracks about dead sea creatures only being enjoyed as long as sufficient levels of sake are consumed to make just about anything taste alright. this was before i was aware of sushi with a brazilian/peruvian smackdown! think of it - two amazing taste cultures entering the octagon for spicy hand to hand combat. the view of the spectator is pure entertainment as these two mix their distinctive flavors into a fantastically luscious succulent entertainment for the tongue. my my my my my! not sure what they're putting in the water down there, but it's working! we should find out about these additives. i mean, sure, it's nice to have a little fluoride in the water but honestly, how does that compare to the addition of latin love and flavor?! if you want a sense of the experience, just go to sushisamba.com. the opening beats are an auditory semblance of what the taste buds get to enjoy (there's also a place there to listen to five compelling compilations of lovely latin tunes. let me know what you think). if you want the experience for yourself, you'll want to hang out on south 7th avenue and bleecker street.

i was completely at the mercy of my friends who seemed to have a good sense of what should be ordered. the only sushi i really knew was the old reliable california roll. even typing that makes me laugh since that is first grade cafeteria sushi compared to sushisamba which can only be described, then, as doctoral level studies in flavor. i was lost looking at the menu when, thankfully, tamsin and maria took over the ordering duties. maria said i had to have the seabass and who was i to argue? i wasn't prepared for how much i would enjoy these skewers of delight and any mental reluctance that lingered quickly evaporated into total trust of whatever else they ordered.

tom, sarye, myself, and the aforementioned ordering gurus left this delight for one of new yorks many hidden treasures. the "little branch" sits in the basement of the building at 7th ave. and leroy street. very unassuming entrance. just a little brass plaque on the door with the name so you have to be in the "in" crowd to know about this place. or, like me who is not in the "in" crowd, be invited by those who are. that's really my only hope in this place. theologically speaking, it's the only hope that any of us have. gotta love invitations!

if someone invites you to sushi samba, you should seriously consider. if tamsin, tom, maria, and sarye do it, drop everything and go right then without hesitation!

buddy

2008-08-28T12:44:00.000-07:00

so last night i tried to find a subway station. someone told me it was at 33rd and 6th. made my way that direction, walking east on 33rd. didn't see a sign for 6th, so i kept walking. i get all the way to 5th which, obviously, is not right so i asked a group of guys where the station was. they were great, eager to help, cool accents...

the one that started tellin me where to go said i needed to go back where i had come from and take a left on broadway. i repeated back just to be sure, head back where i had come from, make a left turn to the next block, "right?" i said. i don't think this guy had been questioned much in his life. he shortly said yeah that i needed to make a left and get to the next block. he finished with, "it's on 33rd." well...i had been walking on 33rd! so of course i pointed this out, "isn't this 33rd we're on?"

that was it for him. he was done. "it's in the next block buddy!"

i just called him out on his error. that's all. :) so, that's how i got my first new york "buddy" comment.

first audition

2008-08-28T12:15:00.001-07:00

i had thought that my first audition would be the one at chelsea studios that i got up at 5:15 for. when i arrived at 6:55 to sign up on the non equity list, i met another guy named danny. nice fella who arrived in new york in february. while we were waiting and chatting, he said he was heading over to ripley-grier studios for some commercial audition. i asked him what that was and wasn't really sure. so...went with him.

ripley-grier is on 8th avenue in midtown and is a huge building full of practice rooms, audition rooms, etc. actors, dancers, and singers are wandering all over the place which gives some commercial casting directors more people to see. there were two commercials being cast and a ton of actors hanging in the hall way looking to pass off their headshot and resume and read for a part.

so i read for a city tourism board ad from new jersey...and got called back! my first new york audition...called back. was batting a perfect game until 1:50 and the brain freeze. then when i did return for the call back at ripley-grier, i think i was rattled. what started as a good day became simply a day of learning. :) i guess those are good days, as well. i may have had difficulty promoting perth amboy, nj anyway. but it is the first state to ratify the bill of rights! and if you're looking for a culturally diverse dining experience, they have over 40 ethnically diverse restaurants and cafes to choose from! so if you're looking for 325 years of real history, culture and excitement, you know where to go. i just typed all that from memory. they should have hired me.

16 bars

2008-08-28T11:08:00.000-07:00

that's all you get. no time to warm up. no room for error. i went in with tremendous confidence. i knew those 16 bars...and not the kind with beers. you get a lot more than 16 of that kind in this place. the audition was at chelsea studios on 26th st. i arrived at 6:55 am in order to be among the first to sign up as a non-equity actor. this turned out to be a good thing but i was still not heard til 1:50. made for a full day.

we all waited in the "holding room" for the equity actors to be heard first. only then are the non-equity scrubs allowed to sing for the casting director. many interesting people in this room. one guy was looking at himself in the mirror and seemed to spot a rogue hair on one of his ears. he appeared upset and left the room, presumably to address the situation. another dude had his lucky stuffed animal strapped to the front of his backpack. some are reading, others talking - some talking to themselves (which is okay in new york...everyone here is either crazy or rehearsing lines...if there's a difference)

so finally after nearly seven hours of waiting for this audition, my first in the musical theater world since college, my moment came. walked in the little room, handed my music to the accompanist, she hit my starting note, the two casting guys looked on expectantly...total freeze. the last time i had a freeze up like this was in the pikes peak center during a christmas concert but at least there i was surrounded by 2000 of my closest friends who seemed fine hearing me "la di da" my way through a section of music with a smile on my face. this was a very foreign environment. nobody asked how i was, what i was doing in new york, how i was enjoying myself, blah blah blah, no piano introduction beyond my one note starting point, no hugs, no "you're great, so glad you're here, delight us with your cords"...no, none of that. only cold stares...especially from the pianist after i didn't start from the one note...since i was expecting a warm intro with an obvious pause that meant i should come in. the kind i would get from don dyck back home.

ah well, that one is behind me now. it was a learning experience. i imagine i'll be learning a lot in the weeks and months to come. 16 bars go by quickly...and entire futures hang on them.

party - new york style

2008-08-22T05:22:00.000-07:00

so...last night i hung out with roger federer, spike lee, serena williams, maria sharapova, a few actor types, and some sports celebs. who would have thought i'd be hanging out at the grand opening of the nike store, new york. i've only been here 3 weeks and already i'm hobnobbing with the upper echelon of the sports culture. certainly you should check it out at 21 mercer street. this was a huge party with over a thousand in attendance. security with their little ear pieces (not sure who they were talking to), ushers in spiffy green jackets (they all looked like they just won the masters), open bars, hip hop music from a skilled dj, astroturf everywhere...and all in the middle of mercer street. huge. i even met travis mccoy. i found his phone...he was generous to me for finding it.

and then it seemed that the swedish and brazilian volleyball teams came strolling in...turned out to be about 100 models just to add some glam to the event and make us all feel that we were part of something special. which we were. i mean, it was the nike store!

yep...i felt pretty important last night. the fact that i was one of the hired ushers should, in no way, diminish how cool you thought i was a few moments ago. i did get a free pair of shoes...but i had to give back the green jacket.

big apples

2008-08-21T09:11:00.000-07:00

met friends for a late drink in the empire hotel at lincoln center. if i ever find myself going hungry in this city, i'll need to reread this post since there is a constantly replenished big bowl of apples on the check-in desk. yay for free fruit!

soundscape

2008-08-21T09:01:00.000-07:00

so i'm walking down 51st street between 2nd and 3rd avenue and come across a little park. the plaque said, "private park. open to the public." it's not large, but that's not what matters here. some beautiful person has built a waterfall in this little park rather than turn it into a very profitable building. the water falls some 20 feet and there is a lot of it, such that the sound of the city is overwhelmed. if you close your eyes here, you might as well be at seven fall in colorado, or out on one of the moks off lanikai beach listening to the crashing surf. from an auditory perspective, the city becomes nigh unto invisible.

i had almost forgotten how much i love this sound. it's magic in its ability to transport a person. everyone can remember a waterfall somewhere in the world. i think of the waterfall at the gideon springs in israel, or several on maui, or spilling into the fjords of norway...close your eyes and you're there with just the soundscape of this generous little park on 51st.

subway

2008-08-16T06:32:00.000-07:00

i've noticed something about the subway stations that just about everyone does. in fact, i've fallen into the same practice. it's walking to the very edge of the platform by the track and looking down the tunnel for the train. i do this, and yet i don't know what it accomplishes at all. actually, i know exactly what it accomplishes...nothing. but for some reason it makes me feel more aware of reality or something. wouldn't that be nice.

there's an old adage, "a watched pot never boils." i think there should be a similar one for the subways here. "a watched track never brings a train."

note to self - supplemental

2008-08-15T11:52:00.001-07:00

rather than paying my fine by mail, i figured i would just go to the environmental control board office in person. always fun to learn a little more of the city and try talking to people on the subway. i'm sure they all think i'm crazy since this is completely unacceptable behavior, but it's kind of fun, too.

so the back of the ticket said the office could be visited by going to the 10th floor of a building down on john street. this is a great street in the heart of downtown. this part of town is leftover from the original layout of the city which wasn't planned very well. streets are narrow and intersect curiously and with the height of the buildings it can feel almost claustrophobic. i made my way to the elevators and waited to board the magic lift that would take me to the shake-down location.

when i got there, i waited in line for a few minutes before speaking to a kind lady who told me that if i was paying cash i would need to do that on the 2nd floor, window 27. i figured i would take the stairs down both for the exercise as well as relive the good ole days of coming down the manitou incline. i was quickly reminded where i was when i smacked my pocketed ipod on the metal railing.

a couple floors down in the stairwell, i saw the sign that makes any stairclimber take pause. "no reentry except for floor 9 and 6". I was already committed to my descent and picking up speed and found myself hoping that the second floor would somehow be unique, living in a different universe from the "no reentry" world. not only was there no reentry on the second floor...there was no door with which to even dream of reentering. had to completely leave the building and enter at the front door again. which i did and finally made my way to the 2nd floor and window 27.

another line. apparently there were many other lawbreakers paying various fines. i'm sure they will put the money to good use so i don't mind making a small contribution to the city of new york. maybe they'll put some of the fine toward the free-to-the-public ferry that runs out to governor's island every weekend.

i ended up at window 26 which is close enough for me. spoke to a very friendly woman with very red hair. i like red, but hers was clearly foreign to her natural follicles. it wasn't the beautiful natural red to strawberry to auburn color that flows out of some of the more regal heads in town.

i paid her the money, she printed a receipt, stapled it to the original ticket i had received and handed it back to me saying, "hold on to that receipt for eight years, three months." i couldn't believe it, so i said, "pardon me? did you say eight years and three months? it sounded like you said eight years and three months. is it in the computer that i paid?" even though the computer had it in there, the city might come back at some point in the next eight years (and three months) and accuse me of not paying. so just in case they come after my three cheeseburgers with bacon fine, i need to find a safe place to store my receipt for the next eight years and three months. that's a long time. in dog years that's like 44 years. maybe i should get a safety deposit box.

pioneer

2008-08-14T16:22:00.000-07:00

my dad suggested that i reflect on the pioneers with respect to my recent move to new york. it's a fruitful exercise, really, and a spirit lifter when things seem only dusty and dry. why should i expect anything else at this point? i've come to a new place where no close family member has tilled the land previous to my arrival. that ground is hard. it will take time to soften the soil and begin to plant seeds that might bring a harvest. and even then, harvest won't happen before spring.

pioneers are lonely people in the sense that they go ahead of others to establish something. my community here is small but growing. it's a difficult thing to know who will want to partner with me in the building of this homestead. some have their own pioneering projects going on. i respect that and wouldn't want to interfere. but i'm hopeful for friends who will join me in the journey. in them i'll enjoy strength, fellowship, challenge, accountability, and growth.

there is another who was called a pioneer. hebrews 12:2 refers to jesus this way as the “pioneer and perfector of our faith.” he certainly went into the previously undisturbed land of justice to secure my eternal life and satisfy the righteous requirements of god. he was alone with no one to share in his struggles. even his friends fell asleep when he needed them most. i can't say that i have experienced anything near the intensity of his pioneering...just the dull ache of aloneness in this foreign land.

but not foreign for long. that same pioneer who led me to this place is the perfector, as well. even as i write this, there is a growing familiarity with the streets and avenues, the subway and the difference between local and express, and the beginning of friendships. what will be built with them is as yet unknown, but the perfector will grow me in this place and provide building partners.

this seems too serious since i have another side, as well. on the lighter side of pioneering in this place, i have learned where to hunt. everywhere! there are markets, street vendors, and restaurants everywhere i look. there has been no shortage of doritos, cheese, ice cream, meat, and other staple delicacies in my life. there's even a 7-11 with those little cheeseburger dealies that are mashed into a cylindrical shape and kept warm on the steel rollers of magic heat along with hotdogs and sausages. amazing creation. i'm well taken care of here.

i'll keep pioneering. the ground will soften. community will come. maybe even a job...but we wouldn't want to rush anything.

note to self

2008-08-11T17:14:00.001-07:00

when friends invite you to enjoy a cup of wine served in "green" cups provided by whole foods at the hudson river front looking out at jersey city, don't do it. they mean well and are good company, i'm sure...but apparently there is an open container law in manhattan. while the view and company are splendid, there's a small fine that could be used to acquire about 3 good cheeseburgers with bacon. that's how i really measure things. in fact, since we've lost the gold standard in this country, i'm suggesting a new standard: the bacon cheeseburger standard. three good cheeseburgers with bacon is a significant fine and deterrent in my opinion.

for example, looking across the hudson at jersey city one is confronted with many buildings, mostly offices, that have lights on well into the night but with no one in them. one of them even has a fluctuating set of lights that change color and can even appear to wave like the ripples in a wind blown flag. it's lovely. but can you imagine how many bacon cheeseburgers are not being enjoyed with all those lights just burning away all night?! i can...and it's a lot. makes my mouth water to think about it.

at any rate...no wine at the waterfront! enjoy your friends, enjoy some wine, enjoy the waterfront...but don't enjoy wine at the waterfront. just enjoy your friends there...and maybe a bacon cheeseburger. :)

ps. i was very kind to the very cool environmental control officers. i think that's what they said they were.

gardens and sangria

2008-08-09T19:53:00.000-07:00

i was told before i came to the big apple that i had to go visit the brooklyn botanical gardens...now i'm telling anyone who reads this. this is a gorgeous spot. i don't know how they compare to the gardens of the bronx or the parts of central park that are, as yet, unexplored. they shall not stay that way, though. sometime in the next 10 years i'm sure i'll get to them.

brooklyn, for the uneducated with respect to new york, may seem like an unexpected location for a treasure like the garden, but it seems perfect to me. it's fun to find beauty in unexpected places. who knew that there was a little japanese garden in the middle of brooklyn? complete with little turtles and little fish swimming in the little pond by the little temple. and i loved the desert room that was supposed to be like the southwest, i guess. lots of cactus plants and sorta warm but not really as warm as the southwest can actually be. felt like home...since home is full of cactus and it can be warm. the coolest thing in there were these little plants that looked like little rocks. some of them were hard to see because of the resemblance. it was like those pictures of moths that look like their surroundings. these plants looked like rocks!

the bonsai pavilion was sweet. and the rows of cherry trees that must be

magic in spring time. must get back for that. i guess i should expect to find extraordinary things in this city. like who knew the best sangria in town is at a little place called alta on 10th between 5th and 6th avenues? the menu says that they could tell you why it's so good, but then they would have to kill you. personally, i think it was the sweet perfume of lilies in bloom and polo's finest in white. could be my favorite compliment to fruit and wine.

not a bad saturday at all. now what will the lord's day hold?

the first buck

2008-08-07T20:41:00.000-07:00

so monday i met with todd who runs a catering company. lynelle, who invited me to come to new york and stay in her and her husband's place, put in a kind word with her husband jason...who put in a good word with todd. so when todd asked if i wanted to work tonight, i jumped on it. afterall, i've been doing nothing but spending money since i arrived. these would be my first dollars since arriving. and for those concerned about it, my first earning activity did not compromise my dignity in any way.

the job was a large one. about 400 guests who needed to be cared for with sodas, some wine, water, and various finger foods. i was on busboy detail. once again, the circle is complete. i used to do that in high school at the el torito restaurant in maryland during my senior year. i was good then...but wow, what 23 years will do for you! i bounded from person to person, picking up empty glasses and soiled napkins, retrieved little sticks that once harpooned little shrimps and pieces of chicken, and shuttled empty water and wine bottles back to the staging area. my smile was unfading even if my deodorant was.

who am i kidding? catering is a young mans game. i think my feet are about to fall off. i also think it's time to invest in a pair of shoes with some cushioning, and perhaps a shirt that breathes a little better. still...it was a job. my first dollar in the city. there's a sense of pride at working a job, earning a wage, being valued for your service. sore feet and sweaty shirts are badges of honor for a laborer.

someone has said that the laborers are few even though there's so much work to do. i think i know why. hopefully there will be a few more dollars to come.

doulos

2008-08-05T10:57:00.000-07:00

you just never know how things from the past will be beneficial in the future. i met a woman at the galaxy diner on 46th (which is a great place for a grilled cheese and bacon sandwich, by the way) and we got to talking about a variety of things. another aside, i love that this little place would choose to call itself such an all encompassing name like "galaxy." if you dropped a denny's on the corner of 46th and 9th, you'd have the galaxy diner, just fewer places to sit and not quite as well lit. i don't think the galaxy diner has "moons over my-hammy" either...which is definitely to their detriment.

so anyway, we got to talking about what we're up to and where we've been. she is a relatively new attorney and is starting to partner with another attorney friend. they just got a new office on the 4th floor of an old building right on the avenue of the americas. good location, old building...very old building. no elevator and the four flights of stairs have that slightly questionable look that make you wonder if they're really going to hold your weight. or you strategize about where you should place your foot on each step to avoid toppling the building. and you could swear there's a tilt to the whole thing that could never be blamed on drinking too much wine. keeps things exciting, i guess. the office space itself has newly refinished wood floors, high ceilings, and three windows looking out on the avenue.

the whole reason we went by the building was because as i shared about where i'd been, i mentioned building homes in mexico with college students over the past 18 years or so. this was met with great enthusiasm that maybe i could build the wall partitions they wanted for their office! i tried to mention that there are a number of obstacles...

1. i'm not a professional

2. i have no tools (i only packed two bags and didn't think it necessary to throw in a hammer. probably would have raised a few eyebrows at security if i had.

3. i can't build anything without my steel-toed work boots. (didn't throw those in the bag either)

4. a little thing called code inspections! (i built homes in mexico...there are no building codes. this is why all the church mission trips that involve construction go to mexico!) (ok...not all...but most)

5. i still have no tools!

my concerns seemed to be no issue for this attorney. doesn't that seem strange? someone who is concerned about the law isn't concerned for this minister to work a construction project in midtown manhattan on the avenue of the americas! amazing. and for me, fortunate. i need the work.

so, it looks like i'll be acting as a foreman of sorts for this light construction project in manhattan. haven't even been here eight days. i suppose i could wear my tuxedo pants and bow tie.

perhaps i can start a whole new approach to construction in new york. maybe i can combine some singing with the swinging of a hammer, or sing the "happy working song" from "enchanted." regardless, it will be a fun story for the talk shows when i catch my break.

go on those mission trips! you may learn skills that could come in handy later in life when you're unemployed on the streets of manhattan meeting people in various diners that have not creatively named their egg dishes.

noise

2008-08-04T05:12:00.000-07:00

this morning is lovely. not a single cloud in the sky. it's a lighter shade of blue than i'm used to in colorado but it's clear and that's nice. probably some kind of altitude issue, or more atmosphere between eyeball and sun. "refraction" comes to mind...but honestly, i'm not sure if that has anything to do with it. either way, it's great to see the clear blue.

i hung out on the balcony this morning taking it all in. the sunshine, the clear blue sky, the good book, my journal...and the noise. it's amazing. whatever is lacking in clouds in the sky is made up for in varieties of noise down below! i'm trying to listen carefully enough to pick out the culprits. there is a crane and it's engines. the movement of cars on the road. the foundation of all sound here seems to be the dull roar of the air conditioners working to keep us somewhat comfortable when we're not out in the slightly muggy air. i can hear the occasional horn blast. okay...not so occasional...the regular horn blast of taxis, trucks, and cars. a police siren. an ambulance trying to cut through the traffic. a truck's air brakes. and then another sound that doesn't seem to fit but which is welcome to my ears in the midst of all this other. a bird is singing her song.

such a simple thing. easily missed in the hubbub of the daily pulse of this town. yet it's there, cutting through the traffic like that ambulance, bringing aid and comfort to some suffering soul. would that i could be a singing bird, cutting through the din of life as a salve for another.

i suppose the noise is the necessary expense of commerce, growth, life...this place just needs more birds.

sake and sushi

2008-07-31T11:48:00.000-07:00

had a delightful evening yesterday with sake and sushi. these are two of my new friends. sake (pronounced "socky") is a rice wine often served in japanese restaurants that you drink when you are interested in making some poor decisions in life. upon drinking it, the first poor decision is usually to consume large amounts of raw dead sea animals, also known as sushi. somehow these raw delicacies don't taste like you might expect having had the aforementioned libation. or, it could be the wrapping of rice and greenery that surround the poor deceased sea creatures...and the spices. nothing tasted bad at all.

a very enjoyable evening with my new friends. perhaps mr. trump and mama mia are next.

braveheart

2008-07-29T15:59:00.001-07:00

have to make this fast. people are waiting for this computer...

while taking a crosswalk walking up 5th avenue, i was struck by a similarity between crosswalks in new york at rush hour and that scene in braveheart when the opposing armies run at each other. the two masses gather on either side of the street. growing in number and anticipating the mayhem that is only moments away. a few more people approach, slowing to a halt so that an even thousand stand on either side of 57th street. those on the north look serious and the southerners appear equally determined.

suddenly, the little white neon outline of a man flashes on the box face! that's all it takes and the two sides are off. rushing toward one another with all the speed legs can muster in the fifteen feet before greeting the opposing on-rushers. here is where the similarity ends for rather than clashing with blood and guts strewn across the street, decisions are made in nano-seconds as all pedestrians avoid one another without so much as grazing one another. truly awe inspiring.

this kind of movement reveals a divine algorithm the equations

of which are only known by One.

i'm grateful to have had the street-crossing preamble to the true battle that is taking place right now in the apple store at 58th and 5th ave . i'm now ready to stand my ground in this truly unique venue. the Algorithm continues...

i think someone wants the computer.

chapter 19

2008-07-29T07:02:00.000-07:00

the first 18 chapters took 40 years. you may be familiar with some of the highlights from earlier pages. 6th grade band concerts, project england in 8th, and all the collegiate chapters. we've come to chapter 19...only took 40 years.

i arrived in the city yesterday afternoon. and there was a symphony to accompany my arrival. we've probably all heard it. the captain of my united flight was the conductor, the passengers the orchestral players...and all the cell phones were the instruments. the conductor taps his baton as the plane touches down. he then comes on the intercom, striking the downbeat of the orchestra saying, "you may now turn on your cell phones." And with that, the united philharmonic springs to life with beeps and short melodies as once dead circuits surge with battery driven power. some of the players are lucky to hear the tunes that reveal new messages. i was among the fortunate few with the ding of new text messages. it was beautiful.

made my way to the baggage carousel and found my luggage quickly. took a bus to the port authority and had a nice conversation with a young man attending the culinary institute of america. he would like to work for a family where he could be a live in chef. maybe when i strike it rich i could hire him. i'm sure i could instruct him on the finer points of velveeta preparation. or perhaps he's already had a class in that. i'm not sure if that would be covered in culinary undergraduate courses. could be grad level. i know i'd be a good professor.

once at the port authority, jason met me and took me to my home for the next 6 weeks. lovely apartment with plants on the balcony in a building filled with actors and artists. i met divina in the elevator on my way to the 26th floor. she's about to take the bar exam. her father is an actor.

since my cousin was in town and staying at the waldorf, i figured i'd subway over there and enjoy the evening with family. wouldn't you know, the whole credit card mechanism for the entire metro network was down, so i couldn't get the month-long metro card. started walking...not too bad really. i'm at 43rd and 9th...the waldorf is at 51st and lexington. i found myself next to someone while i walked so i asked if she was local. "yes." so i asked what a taxi would cost from times square to the waldorf. she said it would be about five bucks, but that it wouldn't be a bad walk. so i sucked it up and walked...in my trousers, sport coat, and not so great walking shoes in the 80 degree early evening new york mugginess.

the waldorf is lovely. opulent is a good descriptor. right up there with the broadmoor in colorado springs but smack dab in the middle of the city. met asheley in the lobby and we went to grand central station which has a market that is out of control! great foods, cheeses, wine, meats, fruit...she ate well for our late dinner. i had pizza...which seemed to me to be eating well, too. after a fun evening, i strolled back to times square and slightly west to the apartment where i'm staying.

chapter 19 is underway. the pages will slowly fill

and spill over into new ones. what will this day be like? i wonder. what will my future bring? i wonder.

possessions

2008-07-15T17:10:00.000-07:00

one of the fun parts of moving is packing things up, figuring out what you don't need anymore, determining what you want to keep, and then working out all the details. fun fun! well, i went through much of this 7 months ago when i moved from downtown colorado springs over here to manitou springs. so i know i want to keep the things i have already determined to keep! but the fun of this move is that i'm moving to new york city and when i get on the plane next week, i'll have a couple suitcases and a carry on. i can't seem to get my 9' concert grand piano i inherited in my oversize suitcase...let alone my carry on. or my big red couch that was an anonymous gift from a church member. or my wingback chair that has contributed greatly to the calming of my mind on countless mornings. and many other things that have had some value in my life...like wine and candles.

so...one challenge has been finding people to loan things to who won't mind giving them back in a few months or a few years when i find an apartment in the city that is slightly larger than my freshman dormroom and a job that affords it (maybe i can rent by the square foot). last week it was a privilege to give a number of things to a former student/friend of mine who got married over the weekend. his new bride will come home to an apartment with some fun things. another took a couch and some bookshelves to keep the cranium expanding books he loves. sunday night during dinner with friends, i mentioned trying to find a home for the piano...and they said they would love to house it for me! and today was so fun because i met some very joyful people on the incline who all seemed to need a few things. just about every last bit of furniture has found a home...and it was free candle day, as well. fun fun fun!!

all these people have blessed me. not only because i don't have to get as big a storage unit, but also by their smiles in receiving something useful that was unexpected and unearned. no attempt to earn it. no statement of non-worth for such a gift. just reception of what is offered with a smile. this is always a gift to the giver. the gift of gracious reception. would that we receive the gift of grace with the same smile.

now if i can just sell my car...

26 days...

2008-07-03T14:20:00.000-07:00

...to departure. how weird is that?! maybe it's just weird to me. for me it's like everyone is leaving my life, kinda. for everyone else, it's just one person who is leaving. yeah...i guess it's just weird for me.

same thing on the other end. when i get to new york, there will be 10,000,000 new people. as far as they're concerned, only one. i hope they can remember my name. i'm going to have a hard time remembering all of theirs.

sparrows

2008-06-30T06:27:00.000-07:00

why should i feel discouraged
why should the shadows come
why should my heart be lonely
and long for heaven and home
when jesus is my portion
my constant friend is he
his eye is on the sparrow
and i know he watches me

"let not your heart be troubled"
his tender word i hear
and resting on his goodness
i lose my doubts and fears
though by the path he leadeth
but one step i may see
his eye is on the sparrow
and i know he watches me

i sing because i'm happy
i sing because i'm free
his eye is on the sparrow
and i know he watches me

i can't see beyond july 28 right now. i can't see where i'll lay my head after september 15. i can't see who i'm going to drink a beer with come august 1. or a gin and tonic and talk about live, love, and theology. i can't see how i'll afford to buy food starting tomorrow. well, that's not entirely true since i've saved up a little. but the truth is, all i can see is 'but one step' at a time. that step is to fly out of here on july 28 and land in new york. i guess God has always had me on a need-to-know basis...and right now i don't need to know. but if he has an eye on some sparrow somewhere ... how much more does he keep an eye on me? he wants me to do well and to succeed. he will keep leading me on that path. up to me to follow. i'm free and mostly happy... this is why i sing.

pensive...

2008-06-27T06:29:00.000-07:00

it's a strange feeling to know that in about 30 days, i'll be heading out to the big apple. so many little details still to work out. need to sell my car. need to get an audition book together. want to see friends but not really sure how to get it all in with such a limited number of weekends and weeknights. then, of course, is the actual packing up of this very fun home. books, furniture, kitchen stuff...not to mention my ridiculous wine collection. storage for a while....

i wonder if i'll find a job out there? or if an apartment will reveal itself that i can actually afford? will anyone want to hear me sing? will i find new friends? none of them will come with an 18 year history of comfort and awareness. no one will know the things i've done or accomplished. perhaps that's a good thing. i won't get the 'pastor' treatment right off the bat. i may actually see people's uncalculated honesty that is not trying to impress. and i may not need to impress them, either. that could be nice. i was told recently that "a pastor is a pastor 24 hours a day", which meant, essentially, that you could never really be friends with people in your congregation. i feel for those ministers who don't know any safe places to just be themselves. always having to watch themselves for some fear of being discovered for the human they are. i'm pretty human and have made some mistakes that could only be called "doozies" (is that how you spell that?). i can't say enough "thank you's" for the people who allow me to show my brokenness in all its broken glory and still think i can contribute something positive to their life. I hope to meet people like that in new york. and hopefully i can be the same for them.

yes, it's a strange time for me. reflective, calm, nervous, excited, sometimes want to cry, sometimes elated, anxious, expectant, confident, insecure... Lord, i have no hope apart from you. show me what i need to see and who i need to meet and what i need to sing. please keep a smile on my lips, joy in my eyes, love in my heart, and grace in my spirit for all that cross my path. amen.

cheese

2008-06-20T05:52:00.000-07:00

i did the incline yesterday and got my personal best so far for this summer. 32:54. what's remarkable is what i had for breakfast. tostitos brand cheese dip in the tall jar. perhaps we have underestimated the nutritional qualities of this tasty nectar.

it's a well known fact that there is protein in cheese. this is obviously good for the repair and building of muscle tissue. it seems clear over the years as i've consumed incredible quanitites of this delicacy that my muscles have grown and are producing adequate power for little jaunts up the incline at increasing speeds.

the taste is another factor, i believe, in the ability of this ambrosia to bring positive results. because of its flavor, i am a happy person. this psychological state (enhanced by the dipped doritos) is something that the world appears to be lacking these days. it would seem that this puts me in an upper percentile as it relates to overall joy. this, in turn, translates to higher energy, enjoyment of the outdoor activity, and performance on the athletic field...in this case, the incline.

my recommendation, without hesitation, is for larger consumption of cheese product as it develops strength, happiness of taste buds, and a greater overall joy with a higher performance potential. eat up!

civic duty 3

2008-06-18T09:38:00.001-07:00

Guilty on all 6 charges.

I'm glad I got to be part of the process even though I wasn't part of formal deliberations. interestingly, i was able to speak personally with the judge since he felt for me and all the time i'd spent paying attention to the case. this allowed me to learn a few other details about the case which was helpful.

i believe it is a good thing for all of us to consider our role in divine authority that has been delegated to us. for those of us who participate in a democracy, we are fully involved in this delegated authority. this has implications far beyond the jury duty we all may face sometime. there are implications for the upcoming elections...not so much who we vote for but that we participate at all. does this say anything about capitol offenses? even though we are told "judge not lest ye be judged," what are we to do with this delegated authority?

fun stuff. has nothing to do with my upcoming move to NY. now it's time to focus on music. i wish i knew the best tunes to use as audition material. i really don't have a clue.

civic duty 2

2008-06-17T15:32:00.000-07:00

so, after listening to all the testimony, arguments, evidence presentation, and jury room waiting...i find out that i'm the alternate juror. this means that i did my best to be an attentive participant in the process but didn't get to be a part of the deliberations. i suppose i should say, those deliberations are going on now and i'm 'on call' waiting to see if i'm needed. sorry...can't talk about the case yet. :)

interesting process.

civic duty

2008-06-17T06:05:00.000-07:00

i was called for jury duty for the first time in my life yesterday. quite a process, really. showed up to the courthouse about 8:30 am, went through the metal detectors, removed my belt and phone, corralled into a big room with about 200 other potential jurors, and then we waited. even though there was a sense of inconveniece, it dissipated fairly quickly as it became clear that just our presence was encouraging various disputes around the courthouse to settle. attornies were doing all they could to avoid a jury trial. so even though we were sitting in the "corral" watching a dvd of "national treasure" (so appropriate), parties were aware that if they didn't settle, they might have me sitting in judgment over them.

after about 90 minutes, my number was called and i was sent with a group of people to a court on the second floor. there we went through the voir dire process. various excuses were given as to why potential jurors couldn't serve but only a few were accepted. the judge wasn't swayed by people who were upset about missing work. but there were some who were able to convince him that they would be biased in this particular case given a few of the details. i had no excuses. certainly i couldn't use the work excuse since my days are free. and i haven't had much of anything criminal happen to me so i couldn't present any reason to be dismissed.

one guy sort of upset me saying he should be dismissed because of his Bible training. i was like, "what?!" he did not seem to have any understanding of our judicial system essentially saying that the defendant was guilty and this was all a formality. i wonder if he'd feel that way if he were ever on trial for something. there's always two sides to a story. he was saying that he didn't feel he could sit in judgment of someone else. what was upsetting to me was him saying this as a "bible trained" person. ridiculous! God has delegated his divine judgment to humans in a number of places. we see it in deuteronomy 16:18. we see it in the book of judges. and the whole idea of delegated authority is huge in romans 13. when we participate in this system of justice, we are taking part in delegated divine authority. of course we can't sit in judgment over someone else on our own, but that is not what is happening when one sits on a jury. we have been given authority. and this authority should be handled very carefully and with an awareness of a certain weight. a person's life hangs in the balance depending on what we decide based on the evidence of the case. i wanted to say something like, "i'm bible trained too but have no problem with this" but i kept my mouth shut.

after the voir dire, there was a back and forth between the plaintiff and defendant on who they wanted on the 12 person jury with one alternate. when it was all done, i heard my name among those 13. frankly i was a little shocked. the case started almost immediately and went for a good chunk of the afternoon but ended early when we ran out of witnesses. today should be a full day of witnesses and evidence.

the only drag is not getting my normal time in the sun or on the incline. :) it's amazing that i've lived here for 18 years and just as i'm about to leave, i get my first call for jury duty.

uno

2008-06-13T13:44:00.000-07:00

well, i've entered the blogosphere thanks to joy. it seems appropriate that i set down an accurate collection of my reflections as my life takes this new turn. in just 45 days, i'll be moving to that big fruit of all fruits, the big apple. i've heard that if it exists in the world, New York has at least two of them. should be a very fun adventure and YOU get to join me as i take the blue pill and enter the matrix that is the City.

the path to this moment has been curious to say the least. that is a story for several good bottles of wine, preferably shiraz. so, if you ask nicely and bring the grapes, be ready for a grand tale. either way, i believe God is up to something that i can't as yet see. i suppose he always is and perhaps it is presumptuous of me to think it has anything to do with me, but...well, i guess i'll be presumptuous. i like typing that word. presumptuous. what you don't know is that i mispelled it every one of those three times. but i've fixed it now...

leaving this beautiful home in manitou springs, colorado is not an easy thing. i'll miss the incline, my steamroom, the wine cellar. but doesn't this mean that the provisions of the new place will be even more satisfying? that is the presumptuous side of me. i have experienced tremendous blessing...and i expect that those blessings will continue with a new definition. that will be fun. or perhaps like a definition in a dictionary where there are little numbers after a word. i've only experienced the first couple numbers of definition for blessing. the next few numbers are what i'll be writing about in the weeks and months to come.